EP 256: Survive & Thrive in 2025: A Guide to Self-Care, Community & Resilience

Can you believe it is still January? It feels like it has been decades long because so much has happened and very little of it has been good news.
In tough times it is easy to feel down and hopeless. It is easy to feel like everything is out of our control and we can’t do anything because everything sucks.
That simply isn’t true.
We can do plenty for ourselves, the people we love and our country. For today let’s take note of some delightful things in my world that happened in January.
My January Glimmers
(tiny micro moments of joy)
🪩 Slurpee is giving away free slurpees on 1/31/25 in honor of this being the longest January in the history of Januaries.
🪩 My Congressional representative’s phone numbers are saved in my phone so it is really easy to call. I usually get their voicemail. It’s easy to leave a message (include your address so they count your call as one from a constituent) and I can give myself a gold star for civic engagement.
🪩Authors are publishing books that I can’t wait to get my hands on. I went to two author events this week. I congratulated the authors on their book babies and connected with other readers.
🪩 I hosted the THRIVE 25 workshop. Our THRIVE pals are planning solo and family travel, hosting book clubs, hosting brunches at home, and loving up their people and pets in person.
🪩 The three disco balls in my house bring me utter delight every time the light hits them and the light confetti fills the room.
🪩 Reading is my superpower, my hobby, my coping strategy of choice. I’ve read 22 books So far, more than 5,000 pages and it is evenly split between fiction and non. And StoryGraph’s graphs are a thing of wonder.
🪩 So many friends emailed and texted to tell me that my Creative Mornings talk was featured in their international newsletter. Friends that celebrate your success are the best!
🪩Morning walks along the canals means so many bird sightings. Standing on the banks together looking like they are having a meeting never fails to crack me up.
🪩 An unexpected walk in a rainstorm with one of my besties and her emotional support mini Goldendoodle, Salty. She wears a bow tie and thinks she is human.
🪩 Checks and balances are being put to the test and some of the cruelest EO’s are being blocked. So thankful for lawyers and judges who are helping to preserve the Constitution and our people.
🪩 My 8th grader is studying US History and we spend our afternoons talking about the history of the Constitution and I get to nerd out and talk about what is happening in recent history.
🪩 Pocket size US Constitution in my kid’s backpack. Mother like daughter!
🪩 My pal gifted me Parisian beret for my cat. I am afraid to try to get her to wear it, I will keep you posted.
This week on the podcast I am doing a deep dive into CARE Club. I share not only what it is, but why I created it just for you in this time in history.
Do you need some tips on how to SURVIVE 25? Join me 2/25/25.
Transcript:
1:30-1
[00:00:00] Today's show is brought to you by Survive 2025. Y'all, it's, it's a vibe here in 2025. And earlier this month, I hosted a class called Thrive 2025.
[00:00:15] And I have to tell you, the enthusiasm was there and we were all vibing, except Then we were all like, that sounds terrific, but what are we going to do to survive? So survive is my brand new workshop that I'm hosting for free on February 25th. You can head over to my website for information, get yourself on the newsletter list, and you will be the first to grab a spot for the brand new survive 2025 workshop.
[00:00:51] Being hosted by me online on february 25th In the [00:01:00] evening, tonight, tonight, this time we're going for a little after work conversation. Conversation is going to be about an hour long. It's going to be at 515 Pacific. You are invited. Please tell your friends if people are really struggling right now, which I know I have had quite a rough start to the new year.
[00:01:23] I welcome you and all your folks to come learn how we can survive. 2025 together. And now, on to today's show. Friends, super glad that you're here, and here's why. First things first, happy Lunar New Year, aka one of my personal New Years. That's right, I have multiple. My, my year typically starts you know, at the beginning of the school year.
[00:01:53] Why? Because I love an academic calendar. My husband's a teacher. I have a student who's [00:02:00] still in school, and I was a teacher for a long time, so it just makes sense to me to still stay on the academic calendar. So then I also get the January New Year, which I usually kind of side eye because it seems a little enthusiastic and pushy in a way that I'm not really in the mood for in the dead of winter.
[00:02:17] And then we get to the first of my New Year's, which is Lunar New Year, Happy Year of the Snake. I'm so glad you're here. By the way, hi, welcome back for everyone who has already been here. And if you've never been here before, let me introduce myself. My name is Tammy Hackbarth and I'm a life and work coach.
[00:02:39] I'm based in Sacramento, California. I've written a book called The Essential Guide to 100 percent Guilt Free Self Care. I am a. podcaster. I am a, as you can tell I am also a keynote speaker. So if you are somebody that works for an organization that [00:03:00] needs a speaker to come in and talk about burnout or self care or rebalancing domestic labor or thriving and surviving in 2025, I'm your gal.
[00:03:11] Reach out. You can always find me at Tami, T A M I at TamiHackbarth. com. And. You can find me on the website or you can email me either way, I'd be happy to talk to you about coming in to speak to your organization about how we can, you know, thrive and be happy during tough times. And that brings me to what I want to talk to you about today.
[00:03:39] And that is right now, as of, you know, a few hours ago, enrollment for the Care Club. You're like the care club. What is this? Tell me more. Okay. I will. The care club is my newest [00:04:00] and dearest and most lovely group coaching program. And it's a group coaching program for women who have a million things to do.
[00:04:09] They're hella tired. Perhaps they're going through perimenopause. Perhaps they're going through menopause. Perhaps they're raising little kids. Perhaps they're empty nesters. Perhaps they're like, Oh my God, what's happening in this world? You know, you and all your friends and we need community to come together so that we can become better parents, better partners, better professionals, and maybe even take a nap because we're all freaking exhausted.
[00:04:37] Now the care club came to be because I used to have a group coaching program called deferred maintenance and it was all about Self care for people who put their care off, I always laugh because deferred maintenance means a lot to me because when I was looking at houses, when I was looking to Bauhaus a million and a [00:05:00] half years ago, the house that we actually live in now, that we bought so many years ago, there were little weed plants.
[00:05:09] Not marijuana leave, but like little dandelions growing out of the gutters. And I thought to myself, what, what happened? Why are those, why are those flowers up there at the gutters? That's so weird. And then I realized, oh, the people who currently live in my house had two kids under five and full time jobs.
[00:05:31] They didn't have time to clean the gutters. They were just kicking that cow down the road. But here's what I've learned over the years, pals. You can only kick the can so far down the road before you're like, Oh, you mean the road ends and now I'm in serious trouble. So, what started as deferred maintenance has become HairClub.
[00:05:53] It's evolved because the people in it have evolved. I have evolved. The times that we live [00:06:00] in have evolved. And so I want to talk to you about not only the parts of the care club, what we cover, what the modules are, how often we meet, all the details, but I want to talk to you about Why I created this program and I want to tell you a little bit about my background and so you'll know Ha ha this one came to it.
[00:06:26] Honestly Because I feel like I'm everyone on the Internet's like favorite big sister slash cool auntie Because you know, I'm in my mid 50s. I have had three careers. I Been around the block. Let's just that I've got We're pretty traumatic upbringing and I've also benefited from so much early intervention in terms of therapy and coaching and people believing in me and having [00:07:00] support around me and it's really shaped who I am as a person and
[00:07:07] my group coaching and my one on one coaching and In the
[00:07:11] podcast and in the book a little bit of how this whole thing, how Tammy went from and
[00:07:20] then how I evolved into what I'm doing now. So first things first when I was little, I learned pretty young that life isn't fair, that the rules don't apply to everyone, that people, innocent people, can get really, really harmed. And the person or people who are doing the harm can go free. And I learned that lesson really young.
[00:07:57] Because I spent the first part of, [00:08:00] or the latter half of that elementary school in a courtroom facing my abuser, going through a couple of trials, and then doing court mandated therapy, and just really digging in on healing. And that changed my life. So many people who have trauma in their background don't get that early intervention.
[00:08:27] And they don't have great outcomes. And so as time went on, as I got older, and I was just had a regular old career, you know, the one where I wanted to make the world a better place for women, which by the way, is how I ended up working in politics. And I'm happy to say, over the course of the decade plus that I worked in politics, I did actually work on legislation that became law.
[00:08:59] [00:09:00] That did, in fact, improve the life of women and so there's two things. One, Oh, that was hard work and it was really not a good personality fit for me. I'm a super introvert and that was really, that was a really tough sort of competitive field and internally I was not made for it. So I, I spent some time trying to figure out, well, how can I.
[00:09:34] Have a life. We should just stop right there. How can I have a life? Period. Because, you know, having a work life balance and not constantly living in burnout or with heartburn is pretty rare in politics from what I can tell you. Gather, and I always had that burning desire to make the world a better place.
[00:09:57] I wanted it to be more fair. I [00:10:00] wanted it to be more equitable. I wanted the good guys to win, and I wanted us to have a government and support systems that helped the world. The citizens thrive. So of course I became an elementary school teacher, right? I, I spent most of my career in politics being super burnt out.
[00:10:21] I was the person who was like, Oh, this doesn't seem to be working that great. I should definitely work harder. I don't know if that happens to you, but when I, you know, this is my natural setting. When things are hard, I'm like, you know, we should do is we should push harder. And that doesn't always necessarily work.
[00:10:41] And I'm trying to think of a single time it does work, but I'm just telling you, I tried it and it doesn't work. So I, I fell into that burnout cycle and I thought, okay, with my next career, I want to satisfy that feeling of. Being helpful and having a [00:11:00] meaningful life and and helping people helping to make the world a better place.
[00:11:06] And also, by the way, is there anything more fulfilling than teaching someone how to read or to teaching someone how to write so that they can advocate for themselves. If there is. If you could pop on over, send me a message, and let me know what it is. I would love to hear about more meaningful work. By the way, meaningful work might be my language.
[00:11:32] I absolutely love it. So if you are somebody that's like, Yes, I can see the value in being a teacher and helping the world be a better place, one kid at a time, or one classroom full of kids at a time, that sounds great. But you better listen about my job. I am all ears. That being said, my workaholic tendencies did not disappear when I became a teacher.
[00:11:57] I thought, you know what, [00:12:00] is there any time in the history of the world where I should apply myself 150, 000 percent in the And the answer is no. I was like, I'm going to be the best teacher ever, which by the way, here it is short story, you guys, I ended up being burned out again. And then, and then two very handed conversations changed my life.
[00:12:28] Number one. is I went to a physician who also happened to be an acupuncturist because I was having some trouble with my skin. I was feeling really vulnerable. And if you've ever suffered with acne or any sort of, you know, skin condition, it can be really vulnerable. So I was having some acne. I was like, dude, I'm in my early 30 or my late 30s.
[00:12:55] What's going on? What is even happening? When I was in the [00:13:00] office and this guy was like, he's like super trained. He's like a super overachiever. He was an acupuncturist. So he was like fully trained in Chinese medicine. And he was an MD overachiever, whatever. Anyway, his name was Chuck. And I went to Chuck and I asked him if he could help me clear up my skin.
[00:13:24] And instead of saying, of course, let me help you with that thing that you're feeling really insecure about, he took one look at me and he said, without blinking, you're going to drop dead in your classroom if you don't take care of your stress. And in that moment, I thought, my God, what did I do or say to this guy to make him say those words that sound so ominous?
[00:13:55] And so I paused and I was like, so can you clear up my face? And he was like, no, seriously, you have to [00:14:00] get the stress under control. And I thought, okay, that sounds terrific. I'm going to nod my head. Yes. And then he's going to stick some needles. In my skin and it will clear up the jury was still out on that, but I found it was really relaxing.
[00:14:17] I did take a nap, but but I'll just say that my stress did not go down after hearing a doctor who I'd never met. Say I was going to die in my classroom. So fast forward a couple months and needless to say, I was still working, some would say too hard. And I know that I'm working too hard when I am short tempered.
[00:14:47] I am super critical. I am, oh, can't sleep. Oh, look. I have acne, right? All of these things, all of these tells, and I went in to my principal's [00:15:00] office and long story short, guys, there was crying, a closed door, and one question that kind of broke my brain. Because at this point I thought I was born to be a teacher.
[00:15:15] I was born for this. This is the best. Oh my God. I get to jump rope and read and teach kids how to read. This is the best job ever. Now, was I super highly strong and ready to fight everyone at every moment? Yes. Was I super burnt out and couldn't sleep? Also yes. But the question they asked me that made me burst into ugly tears was, are you happy being a teacher?
[00:15:43] And in my mind I Remember this very distinctly. I remember thinking, what does that have to do? What does my happiness have to do with anything? With certainly, what does it have to do with being a teacher? And well, it turns out a lot [00:16:00] because do you know what happy people do? They're successful. Happy people can help others change.
[00:16:09] Happy people can create other happy people because. Moods, it turns out, are contagious. And I thought, oh man, so I've got two people, one telling me I'm dead, one telling me that I should get a new job, even though I love this one, what am I going to do? And I know a lot of you have heard this story already, but for those of you that haven't, thanks for hanging on.
[00:16:34] I'm not going to lie, I got a little petty, and I was like, if you cannot see how hard I work, and you cannot be thankful for all the work that I'm doing. I'm gonna do less. But it wasn't like generously offered. It was really, really a reactive. There was no response. It was all react [00:17:00] anyhow, suddenly I had a bunch more hours on my hands.
[00:17:02] No did I, did not quit my job. But what I did do is I stopped working all the time and that freed up a bunch of time. I hadn't yet become a parent. And what I did was I filled my time with the things that I quote should have been doing all along. So I looked into, what are you supposed to do when you're supposed to reduce your stress?
[00:17:25] Read a bunch of books at it, about it. And then I started doing experiments. What would happen if I did this activity? What would happen if I did this activity? And I did that for a year. And at the end of that school year, After my lovely little nine year old co workers took their high stakes testing test and we got their scores back, it turned out my students had knocked it out of the park in a way that I was like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, [00:18:00] Whoa, are you sure that's my class?
[00:18:03] And I thought, okay, that's a fluke. But you know what? He was actually feeling a lot better. My skin was actually clearing up, my allergies were kind of clearing up. I was getting along better with my husband. I was actually seeing my friends and having fun. I was exercising. I was feeding myself well. Hell, I even took a meditation class and kept it up for a while.
[00:18:29] And I have to tell you, when you do all of those things kind of sequentially, whoa, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, it actually works. But, I'm a natural skeptic, so I thought, you know what, Let's try another school year of this, they call it working to rule, going in when you're supposed to be there, leaving when your day is done, setting good boundaries, meaning [00:19:00] that I would check my email after school, right at dismissal, like 10 minutes after dismissal, for all those little babies that
[00:19:07] And then I would check it around 6, so that gave everybody a chance who was in the after school program. And then their mom showed up, and their mom asked about their homework, and they're like, Oh my God, I forgot my homework in the classroom. So their mom would email me, and I'd say, Ma'am, just tell them to get it in the morning.
[00:19:23] They got plenty of time. And then I would check it again, probably an hour before work started, before I got in the shower. And that was just to be like, did anything really bad happen overnight? But what I found is like. If I set those limits, I was still doing a ridiculously responsive, awesome job as a teacher, but I was also way more fun.
[00:19:52] I was way more chill. Dare I say, I was a joy in the classroom. [00:20:00] You guys just have to say my students kept doing better and better and better. And I was like, Oh my God, I think this is a thing. Anyway, this is how I came to be the person who is like, I started a skeptic, super type a, if there's a job that needed to be done, I was going to do it better than anyone ever thought possible.
[00:20:26] to get an A plus in everything. Yes, I do struggle with perfectionism. I'm still working on it. However. I learned that when I switch the script on, everything outside of me comes first, work, family, parenting, housework, all of that, when I flip the switch to where I'm pouring into myself first, everything changes for everyone because I show up differently.
[00:20:58] And [00:21:00] it's become care club. Because the C in CARE stands for community. I don't know if you know this, but it turns out, people need other people in order to thrive. It's true. In fact, they say that having people, close people, people that you feel safe with, people who you can confide in, people who you're growing with, having a group of people like that, is more protective for your long term health than even quitting smoking, which I find fascinating, but that's how important it is.
[00:21:44] So the C is for care. A is for accountability. This is what I know. Most people need other people In order to get stuff done. Some people, hello [00:22:00] weirdos you're the resolution setters who are like, What? Why is this so hard for everyone? And everybody else is like, Anyway, we need accountability. But accountability for accountability's sake doesn't work because we also know that when you're mean to people and you shame them and blame them, that doesn't produce change.
[00:22:21] That produces avoidance and no thank you, right? So we've got community, we've got loving accountability, then we have R. R is for resiliency, y'all, the ability to get hit, not physically. Metaphorically fall down and get back up over and over and over again is such a valuable skill, right? The ability to regulate your nervous system.
[00:22:59] So [00:23:00] that you are not yelling at people on the freeway or in the coffee shop line because they're too slow making their order. Being able to be faced with bad news and being able to pause and be like, okay, what can I control? What can I do? Is this thing even mine to do? And can I get up tomorrow and do it again?
[00:23:29] And finally, the E in care club. Is for equity. I believe that when we have equity in our homes, meaning that our whole family is on board for chores, the adulting. And when I say family, just so we're clear, cause some of you just went, Oh, I'm not married yet. We can do this with kids. Oh, I don't have kids.
[00:23:55] That's okay. You can do it with your partner. Oh, I live alone. Great. We can [00:24:00] help you stream like that. Oh, I live with roommates. Oh my God. If I had had an equity lens. about domestic labor when I had roommates. Ooh, probably would have went a lot better. The point is this. I asked my current clients, what should we name this group coaching program?
[00:24:21] Because in the group coaching program, it's like for your whole entire life. It's care for your body. It's care for your mind. It's care for your spirit. It's care for your pals. It's care for your family. It's care for all of us. And it feels like a club because everyone is doing the exact same thing.
[00:24:44] We're all ourselves and our people. So let me tell you what Aaron has said about being in the Care Club. Aaron says, Since joining Care [00:25:00] Club, I've been able to accept help from other people in a new way. I'm much more honest and sincere in my relationships. I'm better able to set boundaries and articulate what I need and what I want.
[00:25:16] I also very much appreciate the members of Care Club. The Care Club is an accountability group for self care. and equity with lots of forgiveness, honesty, and permission. We take a slow start to January. We're even going to slow start it to February this year because 2025 is a lot. But so we take a slow start at the beginning of the year with that.
[00:25:40] We keep that real frenetic energy to a minimum, but we're still going strong on our goals in November. The best part of Care Club is I'm having more time for myself. I'm enjoying unicorn space. I'm completing the stress cycle as much as [00:26:00] possible. When I'm being more open and honest about the care and challenges I'm facing, between therapy that I started in the fall and care club, I've been able to get through a very challenging year while still working on my own goals and my self care.
[00:26:19] And here's the thing, you might think, Oh, Erin must not have a job. She must just be kind of floating around. No, my girl's got She's a co owner of a company. She has a high powered position. She has a couple of kids. She's the primary caregiver for the old people in her life and their pets. And she's still making time to create this really meaningful life for herself and create a life that path and the pace feel manageable.
[00:26:52] And she creates pockets of connection with friends and she creates pockets of time for [00:27:00] her creativity. In fact it was just this last December where Aaron said, You know what? I'm going to set up some unicorn space. And if you haven't yet heard what unicorn space is, it's, it's from the book, yes, the same title, Unicorn Space, by my girl Eve Rodsky over there from the Fair Play, Fair, Fair Play Policy Institute.
[00:27:22] Eve wrote a book called Fair Play All hearts on fair play. You've taught me how to Rebalance the domestic labor in my home so I could teach you all how to do it. The goal of fair play isn't that everybody does chores. No, no, no, pals. The goal of fair play is so that everyone has unicorn space. So unicorn space has a silly name until you hear what it is.
[00:27:50] Okay. Are you ready? So imagine you have three to five hours every week where you get to leave your house. With [00:28:00] just your own stuff and you go do something for funsies, just cause you wanna. And you don't have to worry about childcare. You don't have to set it up. You don't have to worry about dinner or bedtime or anything else.
[00:28:18] Because the other adult who lives in your house, well, they're taking care of everything. Because they too get unicorn space. every week. It is the most glorious thing in the world because in unicorn space you get to dive into all of the things you thought you were going to do when you were growing up that you're not doing or all the things that you did in your early 20s or before you became a parent.
[00:28:46] Or got your career going or got married. All those things that made you you, made you interesting, made you fun to sit next to at a dinner party. You get to work on those. In fact, it's encouraged and some would say it's required [00:29:00] part of Care Club. And don't worry, we don't jump in to Unicorn Space on day one.
[00:29:05] We don't freak our partners out. We don't freak our nervous systems out. We build up to it. So let me tell you what we do. in the first few weeks of Care Club. So, if you're still here, I love that. Care Club is a year long program. We start in February. We go all the way through January of the next year. Why do we skip January?
[00:29:32] Pals, it's winter here in North America, and it's dark. We should all be cozied up with books. And, And you can totally think about what you want to do, you can dream about it, you can draw pictures of it, you can make a vision board, whatever, but we're taking a slow start. So in February, we do this thing called the New Year Setup.
[00:29:55] We'd set our goals, we make our vision boards, we learn, [00:30:00] hmm, let's see. I do ourselves. We learn how to sell, set goals that will actually work. I know it's crazy. And then we work on those goals all year long. So after we get done setting up our goals, Then we start building new habits for happiness and peace.
[00:30:24] What kind of peace? Inner peace, duh, because we need that. We need practice. So we're going to start the year off with learning how to be kinder to ourselves and learning what activities that we do on the daily to increase our level of happiness. It's crazy that we have control over that, but we do, so we practice.
[00:30:53] In Module 2, we work on building healthier bodies. We do a lot of [00:31:00] unsexy things during this time. You can probably name them off right now because I'm pretty sure at your last physical, your doctor told you to work on these things. Right? So we're building healthy bodies while we're also sticking to the habits that we're creating.
[00:31:15] We're creating routines, we're creating habits, and we have that loving accountability, which feels less like A teacher wagging a finger at you wears your homework and more like your own personal cheer squad behind you going, Oh yeah, Oh yeah, you killed it. Oh yeah. Gold stars, confetti bombs, the whole shebang, because that's actually what keeps us going.
[00:31:41] In module three, we're going to go inside your head and do some brain training. And the reason we need to train our brains is because our brains are nervous, nilly. Monsters who tell us lies, and we need to learn how to [00:32:00] wrangle our inner critics, our inner monsters, our inner scaredy cats, so that we can actually accomplish the bigger things that we want in life.
[00:32:11] We're also building tools for resilience. I mean, who doesn't want to be more resilient? In module four, we're going to work on building our better relationships. We can never forget our primary relationship. Yes, I'm going to say it. It's with ourself. I know, perhaps cliche at this point, 2025. And just because we know something doesn't mean that we practice it.
[00:32:39] So we're going to be working on building better relationships with ourselves, but don't worry, pals. We're actually going to be building better relationships with the people around us. Could be our coworkers, our kids, our parents, our neighbors.
[00:32:55] We're also in module five going to be building better communities [00:33:00] and I have been doing a lot of organizing over the last few years and being local, communicating or communicating, communicating, communicating, wrong word, being in community with others at the local level, at the See you on the sidewalk.
[00:33:21] Maybe you've a high five at the grocery store, like really being in our communities, being in the community of like minded people, being in the community of people who we love and respect. And maybe we disagree on policy, but we can still learn to have conversations that maybe even change minds. I know it's bonkers, but I'm telling you y'all I have the evolution.
[00:33:47] of my program goes along with the evolution of my own education. So I am a lifelong learner. I am somebody who [00:34:00] reads all the books so that you don't have to. I'm the one that does the deep dive in the research because my brain gets itchy and I need to know that information. And then when I learn something, all I want to do is talk about it.
[00:34:13] So in the care club, I bring you The latest and greatest things that are happening because the program evolves as the people who are involved evolve. Right. So if you've been in deferred maintenance in the past, or you've done personal coaching with me in the past, love you. You're also welcome to come back.
[00:34:37] If you've never heard of me and you're like, who is this person who wants to read all the books and tell me what they are? Hi, you're welcome too. Okay. In module six, we're going to build our most interesting self. If I asked you right now, as I know we're all busy. But if I asked you right now, what [00:35:00] would you do if you had three to five hours a week just for yourself and you couldn't work, you couldn't do anything around the house, no bill paying, no laundries, you couldn't talk about your kids, no kids, no work, no partnership, just you.
[00:35:18] What would you do? And if you say, Oh, I do self care. Yeah. We already got that covered, right? Oh, I would go see my friends. Oh wait, we've already got that covered. What would you do to make yourself, who would you be if you had the time to really dig into your gifts, your talents, your desires for a bigger life, right?
[00:35:45] Would you start a band? Would you host monthly brunches? Would you go on solo travel? I don't know. But that's the thing that we're going to explore. We're going to be able to answer the question, [00:36:00] if I sat next to you at a dinner party, and I said, what's exciting in your life? What's going on? What are you looking forward to?
[00:36:08] You'd have an answer. I'd want to keep sitting next to you. Right? I love talking about people's kids and their families and all that stuff, but really when it comes down to it, I want to know about you. I want to know what you dream of and how you're going to make that dream a reality. So that's after we've got all of the basics taken care of, right?
[00:36:33] We've got our mental health, our physical health, our relational health taken care of. We dig into creating a bigger life for ourselves. So that when you come to the end of the day or the end of the weekend or the end of the year, you're like, damn, that was a good year. I mean, tons of bad stuff happened.
[00:36:55] Jesus, can you get a load of 2025? What's even happening? [00:37:00] And also, that was the year I wrote a book. That was the year I learned improv. That was the year I learned how to swim without stopping. That was the year I testified in front of the city council and got a stop sign out in front of my kid's school.
[00:37:22] That was the year I wrote a letter to the editor. That was the year I spoke on stage. That was the year I fell in love. That was the year, I don't know, fill in the blank. What's going to make you the most interesting version of yourself right now? One question I will give you from this, from this. Module is would your 15 year old self high five you fringe at your life and I want to have a [00:38:00] life where my former 15 year old self is like, The front door.
[00:38:06] I didn't even know being a grown up could be this cool because I gotta tell you, when I was growing up, I looked at all the grown ups around me and I was like, nope, nope, nope. They didn't make it look that great. Like, I have a book. It's called, I won't tell it. I won't tell that story. Nevermind. The point is, is I want you to look at your own life and think, damn, this is a lucky one because I created it.
[00:38:34] And I get to live it every day. Module 7, we're building better households. We are going to get our people on board for everyone to have so much fun in their unicorn space. We also have to do stuff like laundry and dishes and all that crap. So, we're going to share that with our people. And we're going to do it in a way where we're all [00:39:00] on the same team.
[00:39:02] And it's going to be fun ish. But it is possible. I promise. And because I am a Fair Play facilitator, meaning that I have special training in working with families who implement the Fair Play system, I'm here. We're going to dig into it. So many people read the book or they watch the documentary and they go, there is no way that would happen.
[00:39:32] Or, oh, that looks hard or, ugh. That's just going to cause fights or that's not possible. I'm here to let you know, having people in your household. Fully own the drudgery of life is possible. Here's a quick example. Couple of years ago, I said to my husband reminder, he's a teacher. I said, babe summer is coming.[00:40:00]
[00:40:00] And I do believe at that point it was January, you know, you'll, you'll know where I'm going after I say this. I said we don't have childcare. And since you are going to be awful summer, you can either hang out. All day, every day for an entire summer with your preteen. Or you can take care of camp. And he said, and I quote, I'm on it.
[00:40:23] Y'all, I didn't even know what she was doing because he took care of everything. He researched it. He signed up. He paid. He did the One list paperwork, the repetitive paperwork, the redundant paperwork, the why isn't there just one form? Why can't we just check it off at once? I digress. He did it all. And he even made sure to get the medical releases that he needed.
[00:40:54] He did the photo releases. He figured out if she needed a lunch or what kind of [00:41:00] equipment she needed. And then he did transportation. Oh, my God, I've married the right person. Oh, wait, it turns out. I mean, yes, I did. But also, also that dude owns a task. This is because we learned how to do it together. And I can trust that he is a grownup and can handle stuff just much like he trusts me, that I can handle stuff.
[00:41:31] Is it bumpy sometimes? Yes. Is it an ongoing conversation? Yes. Is it ever evolving? Absolutely. But I have to tell you this summer, we've been together for 30 years. What? I know bonkers. And we're still a team. We're probably a stronger team now than we ever have been. And I find that really mind [00:42:00] blowing, but I really do credit working through FairPlay, sticking with FairPlay, personalizing FairPlay for what works for us.
[00:42:15] And that's what I do. With my clients, it's part of what we're doing here is creating a life with the people that we love, including ourselves to make sure all of our needs are met so that we're all fighting on the same team for righteous causes and making the world a better place at our houses and in the greater world.
[00:42:40] And Care Club is how we do it when we don't yet have this kind of community that we've built ourselves. I built this community because I looked at the needs of my clients over the years, and these are the things that they were asking for. So [00:43:00] if you would like to know, yes, there are bonuses. Why? Yes, there are.
[00:43:04] So some quick bonuses. We have monthly reflection meetings where that's how we stay on top of our goals. Not going to lie. Not gonna lie, if you set a goal and then you don't ever look at it again, very unlikely that you're gonna make that happen. So we build it right into the program, right? We also build right into the program obstacles.
[00:43:29] We talk about them all the time, because I'm gonna tell you right now, if you are listening to this right now, unless you are one of those very rare people who's like, Hey, I'm going to set a new year's resolution for, hmm, let's see, flossing and then they pick up the floss and they floss every day for the rest of their life until they're dead.
[00:43:48] Congratulations, you're likely not listening to this podcast, but if you're everybody else and you're still here, you know that things get in your way and you can't quite figure [00:44:00] out what they are and it's Very likely it's not because you're a garbage person. It's because you just haven't figured out how to get yourself into a routine and stick with it.
[00:44:12] Or, my favorite, get yourself into a routine, stick with it. Think, I don't need this routine anymore. Stop doing it and realize, Oh my God, I have to start over. I still need to do that thing. And guess what? The care club is here for you because we're all in it together. Myself included. I'm not perfect, but what I am really good at is showing up and starting over and sticking with it and being kind to myself, allowing myself some slack.
[00:44:50] and also holding myself accountable to my goals. We take copious notes on ourselves and we write a little thing called the book of [00:45:00] me. I learned that from a long, long, long, long ago, Al, from Twitter. Hi, Javi. And finally, every
[00:45:14] month we have a civics and self care meeting. You might think what? I know. Here's the thing. So, We all need to do some civic engagement. We have to help feed. The unhoused, we have to, I don't know what, what jobs are there, right? Like we need to volunteer. We need to be in community with people. We need to make phone calls to our representatives to say, hooray, you're doing the right thing or oh, you're doing the wrong thing.
[00:45:55] You need people to commiserate and you need people to say, [00:46:00] wait, what are we saying when we call? Wait, who are we calling? And you get to. You get to say, Oh, I don't care about that issue, but this issue is really important to me. So once a month we come together and we talk about, that's right, civics. We make a civic engagement plan.
[00:46:16] We decide what we're going to do. And let me tell you, sometimes this is one of those things that moves off our radar for a while. So if you're like, Oh my God, there's so much, I can't believe it so much. It really is. About one call a week, sometimes two calls a week with some encouraging messaging in between.
[00:46:41] It's really support in a community who's cheering you on for the things you already want to be doing.
[00:46:48] I just want to say that
[00:46:50] Lisa is somebody who's been through Care Club and she said, Action, understanding I'm an obliger, meaning that she needs outer [00:47:00] accountability, and going with it instead of telling myself I don't need accountability, has enabled me to stick with routines and habits that are good for my mental and physical health.
[00:47:12] Here's the thing, none of us were meant to do life on our own. No one. does their best stuff by themselves. No one, there's either secret architecture or they've got a team or secret infrastructure, I should say. The point is, is we're better together. We go further, faster together. And the care club is where we do that best.
[00:47:40] Okay. So if you're, girl, why did you not just not give me a way to join right from the start? I don't know, but here we are. Okay, if you want to join the Care Club, you can go to tammyhackbarth. com [00:48:00] slash care dash club and you'll find all this information, including a registration. This is what I want to tell you.
[00:48:12] If you join and put in the code 2025earlycareclub, You can save 600 off your registration. And we're starting our live workshops for our new year setup on Monday. On Monday. February 3rd. We're going to do the New Year's workshops all the Mondays in February. You can join Care Club anytime in February, but if you want to join us live for those events, for those free workshops, there's four workshops that are going to set up your whole year for [00:49:00] sustainable self care, for personal professional goals.
[00:49:05] Oh, I can't wait. Oh, I'm excited. I'm going to choose a word of the year. We're going to have all this guiding, all of these excellent systems guiding us into this year in a calm, peaceful, paced fashion. We start on Monday the 3rd. I would love to see you on Monday the 3rd. I would love to see you in Care Club 2025.
[00:49:30] And I would also love to see you in our Thrive 2025 free workshop. And again, that is going to be on Tuesday. The 25th of February. So come on over, send me a message either on Instagram. I'm at Tammy Hackbarth, or you can email me Tammy at Tammy hackbarth. com. Any [00:50:00] questions that you have about care club, about payment plans, about anything.
[00:50:06] If you go to the. page and you're like, Oh, I have a question that you didn't ask or answer, shoot me an email and I will answer it. We can even hop on a call and I can answer your questions. I just want to make sure that you're creating the kind of care and support system that you need in order to thrive and or survive 2025 and beyond because even when everything feels like it sucks, they're, we are in control of so much.
[00:50:40] How we feel in our bodies and how we feel in our own lives and that makes a difference in how we show up right if you want to show up as a strong, confident, calm person, no matter where you are, whether it be at the preschool or the courthouse, [00:51:00] or on the stage, this is for you. So again, you can find me Tammy at TammyHackbarth.
[00:51:09] com to send me an email, or you can come on over to TammyHackbarth. com slash care dash club. And I am heading out. I hope I have given you a really good view of why I created this. The fundamental reason I get out of bed in the morning is I want the world to be a better place for women. And Care Club is one of the places.
[00:51:44] That makes the world a better place for the people in it. And then the people in the club make the greater world a better place. It's like a win, win, win for all of us. So until next week, [00:52:00] pals, remember that you matter too.
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