EP 264: Feeling Called to Something Bigger with Tamara Wamsley

April got away from me in the best possible way. I was the keynote speaker and workshop leader at half day retreat, did an official book signing, and was a speaker at the Mom2 Summit in Orlando.

Brene Brown was the opening speaker at Mom2. I wasn’t going to be able to hang out and chat with her, but I was still nerv-cited to hear her speak live. (I haven’t done that since 2015 when I was in the audience for her Anatomy of Trust Super Soul Session recording - NBD - 🤣 absolutely life-changing! )

It wasn’t until I was in my cute outfit, eating breakfast that I realized I forgot to put on my deodorant - not the thing you want to happen on the off chance you and BB get stuck in an elevator together!

Thankfully I was in a room filled with women who helped me and my roommate brought it back with her from our room. That feeling of being supported in the smallest ways is why I love the Mom2 community so much. Everyone is incredibly generous, helpful and willing to share whatever they have with you at a moment’s notice.

As soon as my feet were back in California, I jumped headfirst into a brand immersion with Calvina. The big reveal is (fingers crossed) next week! Here’s a little preview.

How was your April?

So glad I had the chance to sit down for an interview with a new pal where we talked about creating the lives we’ve always dreamed of, how we let go of what’s ok when we deep down know something bigger and better aligned with our values is out there waiting for us.

Meet Tamara.

Tamara Wamsley is a transformational coach and founder of The Ambitious Chick Freedom Movement. She is on a mission to redefine success for ambitious women. After experiencing her own journey from burnout to breakthrough, she now guides women to break free from unfulfillment and create lives of purpose, financial freedom, and soulful alignment.

As a multi-faceted coach combining business strategy with soul-led transformation, she helps ambitious women discover their true calling and build thriving, purpose-driven businesses. Through her signature Freedom Roadmap, she's challenging outdated definitions of success and empowering women to create prosperity on their own terms.

Her approach uniquely blends practical business strategy with deep inner work, helping women not just achieve success, but create success that feels authentic and fulfilling. She believes that when ambitious women step into their power and align with their soul's mission, they don't just transform their own lives—they create ripples of change throughout their communities and the world.

Whether you're questioning the traditional path to success, feeling called to something bigger, or ready to turn your purpose into profit, today's episode will show you how to create freedom and fulfillment on your own terms.

PS - You can listen to my episode on Tamara’s podcast here.

Transcript:

Tami: [00:00:00] Welcome back, pals. I'm super excited to talk to my guest today because she speaks my language. She is the host of the Ambitious Chicks podcast where I was a guest and we share something. Not, not just the beginning of our names, but we also share this desire to help women who are at times of transition or right before a transition to figure out the vision of the future.

Like, what am I gonna be doing later on? Because what you're doing right now, if you are working for somebody else, if you are in the middle of your career, if you are like, how did I even get here? Guess what? That's what we're talking about today. So my friend, can you please tell us all who you are and what you do in the world?

Tamara: Yes. Hi. Thank you so much for having me on, Tammy. I really, really appreciate that. I am Tamara Wamsley [00:01:00] and I help women to discover what their soul's mission is, really narrowing down what their niche is so that they can build a business that is fulfilling to them, so that they can get more freedom and fulfillment in their life.

Tami: I love that. Who are the favorite kinds of clients that you work with?

Tamara: Ooh, that's a hard question, but I feel like the majority my favorites are the ones who are working a corporate job and they know, like they're, they're feeling burnout. They know they're not in the right place. They know that they are not in alignment with who they're meant to be, and, but they're struggling to figure out exactly what that is.

Like they know that what, where they currently are is not, is not it, but they don't have the clarity that they need in order to make the change. So,

Tami: right. It's so hard to figure out where you're going when you're like, I don't even know how I got here and what are my options? [00:02:00] And yeah, let's not forget who am I to dare to want better for my life or something different.

So many of us make. Our career decisions when we're in our twenties or, but our teens, because we're like, I majored in political science, therefore I work in politics. I majored in accounting big, I work in accounting. And then your brain fully develops at 25, or you know, between 25 and 30, and then at 40, 45, 50, you're like, Hey, you know, I've been doing this for a while and it turns out I'm good at it because I have all this practice, all these contacts, this whole career, and I kind of wanna light it on fire because Wow.

No thanks. Yeah. Oops. Yeah. I accidentally ended up in someone else's career.

Tamara: Did you know that only 30% of people work in the career field that they got the degree in? [00:03:00] I didn't

Tami: know the. Percentage, but I am the weirdo that I wanna know everything about people. So I find it absolutely fascinating when people are like, I have a degree in, I don't know what, and they're doing something completely different.

I'm like well I'm gonna need you to sit down and tell me how you did that. Tell us more because we also share something which is a deep love of the strengths. Yes. Can you expl, I, whenever I explain the strengths find is, do they still call it StrengthsFinder?

Tamara: They used to call it StrengthsFinder, but they changed it.

The Clifton strengths? Yeah. Okay. So Donald Clifton is the originator of Clifton strengths, and so they wanted to name it after him? Yes.

Tami: Okay. When I first was introduced to the strengths, it was by a business coach. Shout out Rachel Cook. She's lovely. We, we took the test, I got my results back and I legitimately was like, [00:04:00] duh.

And she said why are you saying that? And I was like, does not everyone know this about me? And she said, yes. And it made me feel not special until she pointed out, she's like, your strengths make you the weirdo that you are. Yes. They make you really good at what you do. And you, me meaning me, kind of stumbled into jobs that played to my strengths.

Yeah. Because I really hate not being good at things. I'm not gonna lie. So I was like, what am I naturally good at? Let me find a job like that. So tell us more about the strengths and how you use that to help people get that clarity. My strengths are input learner, empathy, strategic and activator. I was like, hi, I'm a teacher slash coach.

I use these all day, every day [00:05:00] in my life.

Tamara: So if I can back up a little bit, a friend introduced me to Clifton Strengths and I was almost 40 years old and it completely changed my life. I, I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up and teaching medicine. Even at assessment, even at 40, you're like, I don dunno.

I got here, but I dunno where to go. I, I still had no clue. I had no clue. I, I would get a job and I would be super excited and as soon as I learned all the things, I would get bored and get burnout. Because I was like, and onto the next thing.

Tami: Oh, wait, wait. Can we talk about, just for a second? Sure.

The people who don't, the people who I did read the book and people whose strengths do not match the work they're doing. Low job satisfaction.

Tamara: Yes.

Tami: They're not happy at work. They're not happy anywhere. 'cause they're like, there's like a misalignment and Oh, it's, do

Tamara: you know the number of people who are [00:06:00] engaged in their jobs world worldwide?

No. Who are, who are working a job that's in alignment with just their top five? Tell me 13%. In the United States, it goes up to 30. That means 70% of people are working in a job that's out of alignment with who they are.

Tami: Okay. Well that makes the, we see it everywhere we go.

Tamara: We see it everywhere we go.

Tami: That's why people, it's when you ask people about their job and they give you the eye roll or they give you like a snide answer or they go, I work in, and then they give a field and you're like, but what do you do there? And they're like, Hmm, I don't need to tell you. It's boring. It's this, it's that. I'm like.

Oh, they must pay you a lot of money because

Tamara: you're not, seem, you're seem that excited about it. Well, that's why everyone, that's why so many people are so unhappy.

Tami: Yeah. That is fascinating. Okay. Yes. So you, at 40 you got

Tamara: introduced to this tool. You had your mind blown and Yes. It [00:07:00] it literally changed my life.

It changed the trajectory of my career. I, my number one was strategy. I would never have been able to figure that out for myself. It, in my head, it, it was just how my brain worked, right? Like, I could never have seen that for myself. And so having, you know, a simple assessment show that to me was, it was pivotal.

And so, long story short, I, I changed careers and luckily in, whew, I'm trying to remember, 2018, I believe I was able to go and get certified to be a, a Gallup strengths coach. I literally like, it's what I buy for everyone at graduation, high school graduation. I'm like, if you don't know this by now, you need to know this before you go get a job.

Because if you align your, just your top five, if you, if you're able to use your top five strengths every day in your job and in your life, you are six [00:08:00] times happier than everybody else. Six times. I have

Tami: to tell you, like I legitimately feel like I am high fiving myself when I talk about work. Every time I tell somebody about my work, there's something about what I say and how I say it, but people are always like, damn girl, that is perfect for you.

And well, you seem really happy. And they're always like, how do I get more of that? I'm like, I made up my job the one I have right now, but the one I had before also really awesome, which was I was a teacher. So Tamara, what did you start out and, and at 40 then pivoted to.

Tamara: Okay, so I should tell you what my strengths are.

So it's str strategic command, ideation, activator and self-assurance. Okay. So at the time, well, at the time I was in basically an inside sales role, very much a glorified customer service type situation. And people would call me and ask me [00:09:00] how many boxes of an item we had on the floor. And I literally wanted to duck, but I almost, I, I

Tami: have tears in my eyes.

Tamara: That job is

Tami: super good for somebody, but it's not the, the two, it's, it's Tammy's here.

Tamara: No, you, you have to care. You have to care about taking care of people. You, yeah. No, I, there was no ideation. There was no strategy. There was no, none of my top five existed in that position. And so. Long story short, then I moved into marketing and business strategy.

And I love that. That's definitely more of a sweet spot for me, especially when I get to be the person who is helping people to figure things out and build the business, right? So, that's one of the tools that I use all the time with my clients. I'm also using AI a lot because here's what I've learned about ai, and you're gonna love this, Tammy.

I went to AI and I said, understanding. Here's my Enneagram, [00:10:00] here's my Myers-Briggs, here's my top five strengths. Like I, all the assessments that I knew I put in there, I'm like, what would be the best offer? How can I best help my clients? And also, by the way, here's my ideal client and it spit out some, sta some things and I was just like, this is what I'm already doing.

I realized that people that are struggling to get that clarity can also be doing that. Right? So utilizing AI as a tool to help you get the clarity and help you to niche down, I think is just another sweet spot, I guess.

Tami: I love that. But also I'm thinking like, what if you put all your stuff and you're like, what jobs would use all of these skills that come so naturally to me?

Yes. I don't know if you know this, but we're, we're both Gen X and so I was, in 1993, I was leaving university with a political science degree. And I had been working in the field and I was like, I don't know if this field [00:11:00] is for me, but I did commit to it. I'm very passionate about changing the world.

Mm-hmm. African American studies minor. But I'm a delicate flower and so I went to the, the university career center. And I took an assessment, it was called Siggy Plus. I have no idea what Siggy was, but it was, again, it asked, right? It asked a series of questions, a series of questions, and I was like, why is this thing so long?

And at the end, the idea is that you tell this computer what your skillset is. Mm-hmm. And then it spits out potential jobs for you. Yes. No matter what I changed. 'cause I was like, I didn't like the result that I got, which was funeral director. And then I kept trying to, did not see that at all. What? But you.

But you know what's so funny is then after college I worked at a florist where I was delivering flowers. And I would go to hospitals and I was like, this is not where I would ever [00:12:00] work, ever. I don't like sick people. I don't like stuff. We've come a long way,

Tamara: Tammy. We've come a long way.

Tami: Right? But when I went to the funeral parlors.

To bring flowers. Bring flowers. I swear to God, I found my people dry sense of humor.

Tamara: Oh yeah,

Tami: right. Funny. It was bonkers. And when I thought more about it, a funeral director isn't the, like the embalmer, the funeral director is the person who's dealing with the bereaved. Yes. They take care of people, they handle those details.

That I was like, huh. Now again, that was like 25 years later that I was like, maybe I could revolutionize the, the funeral business. And I'm not. The point is, is that I did see how you connected those dots, but still know, but it's like, but also like maybe we, so a, we [00:13:00] don't know what is out there and we certainly don't know what's available to us based on our innate skills.

A talents and our interests, like being able to put those things together Yeah.

Tamara: Is magic. And I think one of my favorite quotes is, it's hard to read the label from inside the bottle. We literally cannot read our own fricking label. Like we need somebody else to help us to connect those dots. At least I did.

Well I'm

Tami: just laughing 'cause I'm at this point with these eyes. I am taking a fucking picture of every label and then using my little blow it up feature. I'm like, I can't even read the label on the outside of the bottle right now. But I get what we're saying, which is like, when we're too close to the problem, we're too close to it, we can't solve it.

But also when you're unhappy mm-hmm. Also hard to see the possibility. Yes, yes. [00:14:00] Yeah. And

Tamara: I will say that's

Tami: like trying to get a boyfriend when you're really mad at somebody. And that's like trying, it's like, like. Pour into yourself. Well figure it out. Yeah. And then see what your options are from a different perspective, a different point of view.

Tamara: Yeah. And I do believe, you know, everything's energy, right? And I feel like at that point in my life, like I was feeling so desperate, like that desperation just blocks everything, right? You aren't gonna find anything good when you're feeling like and when you're feeling that kind of energy. So

Tami: also, 'cause I know that you're not necessarily helping mid-level career people move from job to job, that you're real passion isn't helping people who are like, just kidding.

I found myself here because I followed a prescriptive plan of going to college, getting a good job with benefits and all that. It turns out the world has changed since the nineties. We got [00:15:00] jobs, right? Yeah. And like there's this whole other world available to us. And to anyone who's listening, there's never been a better time to start something for yourself.

Right. Because of the tools that are available.

Tamara: Yeah. And so going back a little bit to my story again, I, you know, I was telling myself I couldn't figure out what I wanted to be. And then somebody asked me like, well, what'd you wanna be when you were a little girl? And I was thi you know, I was like, I don't know.

And then I thought about one instance, I was probably, I don't know, seven, eight. And I was the typical girl taking dance classes. And I said I wanted to own a dance studio. And they're like, well, that, that's interesting. You didn't wanna be a dance teacher. You wanted to own the place. And that's the first time I was like, oh, stop it.

Like, I feel like I've known my whole life that I wanted to own it, but it again, I never saw it. [00:16:00] Somebody else had the connect the dots for me. Right.

Tami: Okay. So tell us how, how do you work with people If people are intrigued and they're like, I did find myself in a career. Yeah. And now I'm too tired to figure this out by myself and, or I've tried and I'm like, I'm stuck.

Who, who can help me skip the line and share their knowledge about how this is actually done? And also, I love this conversation because like, I worked for a decade in politics. Mm-hmm. Why? Because when I was little I thought, oh, I'm gonna be a lawyer, also a dancer. 'cause I always wanted to have, you know, work-life balance.

And also dancer looked fun and lawyer looked important. Yeah. And as time went on, I was like, oh God, I don't wanna go to law school. What can I do to have the same flavor of being an advocate attorney? So that I was like, [00:17:00] I'll work in politics. I will make policy. So I did that. Mm-hmm. And then after a decade I was like, oh my God.

The reality of this is I write a lot of letters,

I speak in committee. 'cause I, I did everything from grassroots lobbying to fundraising compliance to communications, to actually being a contract lobbyist. Like, I was like, well maybe it's this, maybe it's this. I have a 75 page resume all in politics. And I looked at my husband, who was becoming an elementary school teacher and I was like, tell me more about your work.

I basically started kind of informationally interviewing everyone I know is like, tell me about your work. How do you spend your day? What are your values? Mm-hmm. Tell me about it. And he was like, I don't think there's anything more powerful than teaching somebody how to read. I don't think there's anything more powerful than teaching somebody how to communicate [00:18:00] and advocate.

That's themselves. That's

percent.

Tami: I was like, damn. He's like, also get to jump rope. And I got a bunch of time off and I was like, maybe I'll try that. And he was like, no you won't. What? And then he's like, you have to sub, you have to be a SubT teacher for a year and try it and see if you're serious.

Mm-hmm.

And

Tami: then I fell in love with it. Right. And it was through teaching that. Then I was like, well maybe coaching will work for me too. Yeah. Right. So tell us how people can, if they're like, oh my God, why are they talking about me? I did end up somewhere I hadn't intended because I didn't know what the options were.

Tamara: Yeah. Yeah. I think, well there's a couple of things I wanna say. I think that primarily the, the number one thing to understand is all of that wasn't a waste That. I, I truly believe that all of us were put here, like each of our souls are sent here on a mission. And I [00:19:00] think that there's something innate in each of us that we need, we know, like we're pulled to go do.

I think that we allow our limiting beliefs and fear to stop us from doing that, but I also believe that you're given your personality and your strengths and your experiences so that you can be successful at achieving that goal. And I, you know, people are like, I don't believe there, we all just have one thing I do.

I 100% believe that we have one mission, but I also believe that there are a thousand different ways we can achieve it. So, girl,

Tami: for real. So I think that's why. Yeah, right? It's like people are like, how did you go from lobbyists to life coach? And I'm like, well, don't forget the elementary school. Stop in between.

It's because every single day of my life I'm like, how can I make the world a better place for women? Everyone has their thread.

Tamara: Yep. Yep. Right. So I think that you know, it's just really, truly understanding that and really being willing to do the [00:20:00] work to look, you know, to look deep inside for me, I don't know, you probably know who brai wear is in the top five regrets of the dying.

Yes,

Tami: yes,

Tamara: yes.

Tami: I didn't when you said their name, but when you said the top 10, I was like, oh, yes. Very cool. Oh my gosh.

Tamara: When, when I first heard somebody told me, you know, about like the number one regret was that people on their deathbed wish that they'd lived a life true to themselves and not the life somebody else was expecting of them.

And I literally was just like, whew, I'm gonna burst into tears. Like, I just, like,

Tami: that's what I'm doing, that's what I'm doing. Right. You're like, how does this stranger know my like deepest, ouch, spot.

Tamara: Yeah. And so I feel like a lot of us, that's where we're at in our lives. And so I just want, I just, and I feel very passionate about women and specifically moms because as a mom, you know, I, it, one point I had three kids, three little kids, and [00:21:00] working full time and trying to manage all the things like I am like so against that, I, I don't think that I, you know, I want every woman to have a successful career, but working 40 hours a week and then not having any time to do the things we have to do for our family, like, that's not okay.

And so I really feel like I'm called to like, change that. Like, why does it have to be 40 hours for us to get benefits? Like, I, I, I just want, I want women to have. The freedom and the flexibility that we need in order to be good parents, to be good humans, to not be burnout. And so I also feel very called along those lines.

Tami: Yeah. And so, I'm sorry. No,

Tamara: go ahead.

Tami: No, I was gonna say, and that also perfectly fits in why I became a fair play facilitator, is like also that whole thing that is not a personal failing, that is a policy failing. However, there are [00:22:00] personal parts that we have to play in it, right? Like yeah. So it's, it's, it's both collective action and individual action.

Tamara: So Yeah. And in no way am I saying we need to go back to where women didn't have careers. That's, that's, that's completely against where I'm going to. I just, right. You're like, no,

Tami: what? You want people to have

Tamara: both. Why do we have to

Tami: choose something? What do have to choose? It's some, right. You're like, I would like them to have their own thing so they can set their own rules.

Tamara: Yeah.

Tami: I don't, no, that makes sense.

Tamara: Yeah, I, it just, it breaks my heart to see women who are working a job that they hate and they're missing out on things that they need to be able to do for their children. Right. Like for me, for example, when I was working in that job, like if the one of the kids had something going on at school, I couldn't go.

And I was completely miserable. And it was, it was creating a situation where I was a bad mom. I was miserable when I got home. I had no energy left. And I just, you know, I don't want [00:23:00] that for people.

Tami: Same. So, how do you work with people? I have a

Tamara: group coaching program. I, I also do one-on-one. If someone wa, you know, wants that one-on-one attention to really help connect the dots they can go to my website and get a free guide that can start that ball rolling.

And it is just like a freedom roadmap to help you understand like where you're at, where you wanna go, and how to get started down that path.

Tami: I love that. So what is your website again? One more time?

Tamara: Ambitious chick.com.

Tami: Love that. Okay. Now we have to get in the nitty gritty. You not only have a job, but you also have this job that we're talking about.

Yes. How does self-care affect your work? Because I imagine

mm-hmm.

Tami: I, you know what, I'm gonna let you tell me, because I'm imagining you're, you're a busy gal, so tell us about when you're practicing, you're on your self-care game and things are going [00:24:00] well, how's it going? And then when you're not. How's it

Tamara: going?

Hmm. That is a really good question. I'm trying to figure out the best way to answer your question. So, when it's going well, that means that I am sleeping well, and I love to do yoga. I love meditation, and I feel, you know, my body just feels good. You know, you just feel strong, you feel healthy, you feel capable.

And then I get overwhelmed because my kids are older now, so I have a lot more free time to do these things. But I, I tend to, I'm one of those people where I sit down in the chair and I will just work and work and work, and literally hours will go by and I won't even get outta the chair. So when I get there.

For me personally, I feel it in my neck and shoulders. I start getting all hunched and crunched and I, I definitely need to call the [00:25:00] chiropractor, you know, probably stop doing yoga. Definitely stop meditating and it shows up literally everywhere. I'm not sleeping well, I'm not eating well. It just, it, it, it spirals and like snowballs.

So yeah,

Tami: same. So like we said, we're both Gen X, so that means that we, for those of you that are not keeping track of Gen X, because most people aren't, we're the forgotten generation. That means that we were kids in the seventies and we were teenagers in the eighties. Y'all, we were teenagers in the eighties.

So, harken back to the olden days. What did you learn about Selfcare growing up? Either explicitly, I'm sorry, I laugh out loud.

But, or did you see any evidence of any of the grownups that were around you taking care of themselves in any way? Because I'm like [00:26:00] anyone,

Tamara: I wouldn't. Okay. So the answer to your question is a blatant no. But also my, my mom used to absolutely love to go for a walk after dinner. So we lived in a wooded, well, behind our house was like a wooded community.

And so after dinner she would like to go for a walk and we would walk up, you know, back through the woods or whatever. And they would go, we lived like close to a reservoir and a lake. And so sometimes we'd go out there and we'd go for walks. But I don't know that, that, I don't know at what point that kicked in because I'm trying to remember, like when I was little, little, we didn't do that.

I'm not sure. At some point she got a clue, so

Tami: That's so interesting. What did she call it? She just go, I'm going for a walk and just like head out. Or was she, I'm going

Tamara: for a walk. Do you wanna go? Like, usually that was, yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Love that.

Tami: Also, I'm picturing, was that in [00:27:00] Ohio? Yes, yes. Okay. So I'm also picturing like a really beautiful backdrop man.

Yeah. Nature.

Tamara: Yes.

Tami: And movement and being with your people, your mom was totally on. She, she was very much ahead for time.

Tamara: I literally would buy her massage. I love getting massage. I would buy her massages. She would never go like I, as far as like taking care of herself in that way. No, I don't, I don't think she ever, she would get her hair done.

Tami: Mm-hmm. Okay. But, so she would go after dinner, but she cooked?

Tamara: Yes.

Tami: And did she also clean up?

Tamara: Yes.

Tami: So when was the, was the walk in between, was it before cleanup or after cleanup? After. Okay.

Tamara: Nobody ever came to our house, but she always, she was afraid that somebody would stop by and there would be dishes in the sink.

So we always cleaned up immediately. And we didn't have a [00:28:00] dishwasher. That was me the dishwasher. So to this day, I can't stand to do dishes.

Tami: I

Tamara: was about to say, I would rather

Tami: scrub the toilet. I hate dishes. Right. At one point, my husband, we, we were in our twenties and we were living somewhere, and he got so frustrated with my, like dishes.

He was like, I have decided that you no longer have to do any dishes. I will let go of my resentment that you're, he's like, I will just do them all. And I was like, okay. And that lasted more than a year. And then he was like. The way that you took to that so naturally and never looked back. He's like, I'm taking it back.

We had to start sharing again. I was like, that's funny. You know what? You're a grownup. I thought, good for you.

Tamara: Somebody's coming to take your husband now, Tammy. You better, you better be careful.

Tami: It's like, good for you. Now [00:29:00] again, I'm back to dishes. Don't worry. But that year was so delicious.

So you mentioned you like yoga and meditation at our age, sleep, we gotta romance into the bed. You make sure it happens. Don't pick up your phone at 3:00 AM when you wake up. What else do you do now as a grownup?

Where's it going? Well, and what do you think could use a little attention?

Tamara: Hmm. My favorite thing to do is go hiking. And there are lots of places I live in an area where we have lots and lots of options. So that's my favorite thing to do. But again, I also feel like because I'm working, you know, so hard to try and get everything going that I do, I let that slack off a lot.

So I definitely need to focus on that more. Where did you say, where are things going? Well, yeah,

Tami: what do you think is [00:30:00] like, this is on luck. I don't have to worry about this. It's just part of who I am and what I do. I don't think anything's going well. Is that a terrible thing to say? No, I, it's so funny 'cause I, because I'm like, I have to, I have a clipboard, it's not right here.

I literally have to write down what I need to do on a clipboard. I used to have it in my phone. It's says I am like a squirrel brain. I'm like. Did I brush my teeth? I don't know. Let me look at the list. Did I do this? I dunno. Let me look at the list. So,

yeah,

Tami: are you also like, I'm taking it one day at a time.

I know what I need to do. I know what helps.

Tamara: Yeah. I, so I don't do lists. I, I usually don't like lists other than I have grocery lists and things of that nature. I don't check things off. I, I really, this is terrible. I'm, I'm a very visionary, big picture person. I don't get into the details. And I think that I, I'm just, I kind of fly by the seat of [00:31:00] my pants and I, and I shouldn't, but I feel like, like my, my family, like, I feel like that's, that's going well.

But I wouldn't say like, I don't have to worry about it. So I guess it just depends on how you, how you bucketize that.

Tami: No, I know. And it's also interesting because, I guess it was late pen, late 2020. Okay. That's what it'll say. Late 2020, I ended up going on anti-depression medication. It's one of my best friend, like my literal best friend died and I was like, okay, well I'm going to need a little something to help me get through this really hard grief.

And it was great. I was like, oh my God, I feel so much better. But the medication also suppressed that real natural anxiety I have, which apparently kept all the balls my life going. I was juggling things. 'cause apparently I was really [00:32:00] anxious. And so I, through and of course I was also going through menopause at that time, and I was like, did something empty out my brain?

Why can I not remember? Anything. Why am I behind on everything? And so that's when I really started doubling down on like, just write it down so that you don't have to remember what you already know. Yeah. Like, right, like, you know that yoga and meditation and all that keeps it going. Yes. I have this one of the things I, I talk about with my clients is like, we don't need to keep learning the same lessons over and over.

Let's write them down in a place. It doesn't have to be a list. We do what we call a book of me. It's like, take all the things that you've learned and put it, write it down somewhere so that when you are feeling off, go look at your book of me. So you can be like, remember how three years ago I [00:33:00] figured this shit out?

I don't need to figure it out again. Like, I've got a list of answers. It's a treasure map. Of how I work.

Tamara: Yeah, just

Tami: consult the list.

Tamara: You, so you're connecting dots for me that I wasn't thinking of originally when you asked the question, because I'm very much the same way. I, I don't make lists, but I, I, I don't know, I don't know if it's the perimenopause or I, I lost my mom, my dad, and my grandmother all, all to covid all within a matter of a week back in October of 2021.

So I too was, I didn't take the actual medication, but I did take some supplements. Supplements. They're basically do the same thing. And I, yeah, I completely lost my brain and I, so I'll be driving and think of something and I have Siri send an email to myself so that I don't forget, like that's how I handle that situation.[00:34:00]

Tami: I recently learned I could text myself and now all day long I'm like, me

Tamara: anyway, blah, blah, blah. I like in an email. That way I can like delete it once it's done, because that way I know I did it because, but you should see my email. There's a long

Tami: list. Oh, I've got a list. I've got a list. I made it myself in my email.

Tamara: Yeah, I wasn't thinking of that when you were talking about list, but that is essentially a list. So yes. So how do you start? Start your I liar. I didn't know I was a liar.

Tami: How do you start your morning? Like what gets you going and keeps you fueled all day? Do you have a morning routine coffee?

Tamara: That's true.

On a good morning, I get up and I do yoga, I meditate. I have the coffee. I love to, during co during CID when we had the lockdown, my husband has a garden outside and we would get up and we would get coffee and we'd go sit in the garden and just, you know, chat for a little while before we start our [00:35:00] day.

That was perfect. Since, since then, I, I have to say last year I don't think we sat in the garden at all. You know, it's just we forget what's good for us. Unfortunately, we get busy and we just let it go and, yeah.

Tami: Yep. And so that's, that's again one of those ways that you're like, you know what I'm gonna do?

I really am gonna everybody make a book of me sitting in the garden with my coffee. Yes. Even if it's just on a weekend. Yes. It could change the entire feeling of your weekend if you have a few minutes in the summer. Check that out. One of my things that, because we, as we were talking before I live somewhere that gets.

Sleep really hot. We live in a Mediterranean climate and every single day of the summer, minus the heat wave days, we have this 40 to 50 degree temperature swing. But if I do not get out of my house before like eight o'clock in the morning, I tell myself this story. It's unbearably hot and I [00:36:00] cannot live here.

But if I, but if I get up early, which is easy 'cause it's very sunny, and take a walk and get home before 8:00 AM I've had a entire lifetime before it truly gets hot.

Tamara: I have two offers for you. We can, we can house swap. Yes. Because I, you come here and I'll go there because Ohio in the winter, I just can't.

I just can't. Oh yeah. Well it's really cold and yucky.

Tami: It's gray. It's

Tamara: always gray.

Tami: I, I love a California winter, not complying. Okay. Miss Tamara. If we are going to be the person who's listening, who's like, oh, I need clarity. I need to know what my next steps are. I need to know what I can do while I'm still employed so that I can set myself up for something that makes [00:37:00] so much sense.

That makes me money, that gives me flexibility and freedom, but a sense of purpose that I didn't even know we could get from work because I've never experienced it. Yeah. How can they reach you?

Tamara: They can contact me on LinkedIn, Instagram, I'm on TikTok, Facebook, all the things. They can email me directly.

What's your email? It's [email protected].

Tami: Love that. And also don't forget your podcast.

Tamara: Yes. The Ambitious Tech podcast. Absolutely. Yep. And one other thing I, I should have said earlier that was just in my brain that I wanted to say is that, and sorry, I am kind of circling back. One of the things I feel like kept me from doing what was best for me for a long time is I felt like I couldn't commit an hour to doing yoga.

And so I just didn't do it at all. And I have recently let that go. And if I get five or 10 minutes in, then that's a win [00:38:00] because I feel like a lot of, a lot of the times we're like, oh, that's not gonna make a difference. But for me, any, any little bit helps. So it does make a difference for me.

Tami: I will just tell you, you are totally on brand because guess what the, the 10 minute walk you take most days

Yeah.

Tami: Is way better. Then the two hour walk, you never take. Right. And also some people are like, I don't have time to figure out what I'm gonna do next. It's like, well, what if we only spent 30 minutes on just determining what you're gonna do next? And all you have to do is take one, one TV show, one podcast, one doom scroll session, and instead of doing the things that are easy, those are easy, right?

Yeah. It's super easy to press a button. What if we took that 30 minutes and focused on something that could move you towards what you want? Yes. That 30 [00:39:00] minutes will add up. Yes. Every, it is so interesting. I am not a weight loss person. I always feel like I just say that, but because I love this story and I don't even remember where it was.

It might've even been like the Reader's Digest at the dentist or something. It was, some dude had lost like 150 pounds or a hundred, whatever like this. He basically lost a whole person. And of course everybody was like, how did you do it? And he, he, he said, I didn't. And everyone's like, yeah, you did.

He's like, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't lose this big amount of weight. I lost one pound. Yep. And then I lost another one and another one. And I was like,

oh

Tami: my God. Yeah. Why do we do that to ourselves? It's so good.

Tamara: That's so good.

Tami: Right? It's like also like, how did I get it from here to there? Well, I put one foot in front of the other.

That shit [00:40:00] is not sexy. Yes. That's why it takes 10 years to be an overnight success is because you are over here just doing unsexy shit. And everyone's like, I don't wanna do unsexy shit. And you're like, but if you do enough unsexy shit, then you'll get to where you wanna go. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah.

Love that. Okay. I know you love a personality framework. So let's get into this quickfire actor studio actor studio style questions. What is your Enneagram eight?

Tamara: I'm an eight with a seven wing.

Tami: Oh, I love a healthy eight woman. Unhealthy eights scare the pants off of Well, I can, I

Tamara: can be her too.

Tami: Totally. I mean, I'm a one, so I see you and you're scarier on the outside. I'm scarier On the inside is still scary, but boy, those visionary eights, what is that? What is the I'm [00:41:00] an advocate. What do you, oh gosh. I don't even, I can't remember. But anyway, I forget what the name of it's, Hmm. Chef's kiss. Chef's kiss.

Okay. Are you an introvert or an

Tamara: extrovert? I. So I test as an extrovert. I, I feel like I'm really close to the line though, because if I, if it's too much peeing, then I do, I don't necessarily need time to recover. I just need time to like calm myself down.

Tami: Okay. No, that makes sense. I mean, I test it as an ambivert, which is hilarious.

And then my husband is an extrovert and then my daughter is an extrovert. And I was like, guess who just got pushed way over it to the introvert because you guys are sucking my brains out with your just very exuberance about life. Okay. On the Gretchen Rubin four tendencies. Are you an upholder? An obliger?

You don't know this

Tami: one. I don't dunno that one. [00:42:00] It's so good. Okay, lemme tell you. Okay. It, this is a teeny, tiny slice of your personality and it has just to do with how you deal without, or accountability. Okay. Don't So up folders. Okay, well guess what? Well, I know you're not an upholder. So upholders don't need anyone to tell 'em what to do.

'cause there are people who set a New Year's resolution and they're like, done questioners me. So if somebody says you have to do blank,

Tamara: I'm like, if somebody says I have to do it, I'm probably not doing it. I don't like being forced to do anything

Tami: I don't like. I mean, I don't even like it to be suggested.

However, if I think what you're asking of me is a good idea, yes, I'll legit do it. Better than you ever thought. Same obligers. Can't do anything for themselves, but they can do everything for other people, not me.

Tamara: Mm-hmm.

Tami: But they'll get mad at you if you ask too many [00:43:00] times. So we need those people at work and we also need to be kind to them.

And then rebels are the people who are like, fuck you, don't boss me around. I can't that that, I think Gretchen's tagline, hold on. Gretchen's tagline for them is, you can't make me do anything and neither can I. Ooh.

Tamara: I think you're a questioner. I don't know. That rebel sounds very, I'm pretty sexy. One or the other.

I see. Because I'm a questioner with rebel tendencies, I can't make myself do things. I think I'm a rebel, but I Is there an assessment? Oh yeah. Just hit Okay.

Tami: Yeah.

Tamara: Go to

Tami: gretchen rubin.com and I think it's quiz or, or put four tendencies quiz. Okay. And this it is helps so much figure out. What kind of support that you need in order to get stuff done.

Okay. My clients are like, I feel like you live [00:44:00] inside my brain now. I'm like, I just have you do this. And then we talk in the ways that make it, make unsexy stuff like, you know, exercising. Yeah. We make it easy because we, we again, lean into who we are. Yeah. The more self knowledge, the more we're like, oh my God, I can do this.

I just need X to make it happen. Okay. If you're gonna automate, eliminate, or delegate something from your household, and if you wanna tell me what you are, if you wanna tell me your automation, elimination and delegation, I'm here to listen because I struggle with this area and I find it fascinating. So what do you have to say on this topic?

Tamara: I, I feel like you didn't finish the question. If I'm gonna eliminate, automate or

Tami: delegate something from your household, what would it be?

Tamara: What would it be? Cleaning.

Tami: Are you eliminating it? Are you delegating it? Are you automating it? You're like, yes. And I do all of

Tamara: the above. [00:45:00]

Tami: Yes. So

Tamara: I already have, I already have the vacuum, like the Roomba, but it kind of sucks.

Doesn't do very good in the corners. I would delegate it. Yes. Yeah. I,

Tami: I hear that it's time consuming and decidedly less satisfying than one would hope.

Tamara: Yes. But I like a clean house

Tami: That was like that, that's where we, that's the rub, right? Where you're like, Ugh.

I, I like, I like money. I don't wanna work a lot. Well, better my weights better go up. What is the last book that you read that you thought, oh my God, everyone has to read this, and why is it the Six Geniuses at Work? Because you recommended that to me. I read it and was like, sh. What is your working genius?

I forgot. I read it so long ago and I'm on the spot, but I will tell you, God dang it. I can't remember. It's rigid.

Tamara: So it's wonder ideation discernment. Galvanizer. [00:46:00] Enabler. Tenacity.

Tami: I have tenacity in all things except finishing. I'm a galvanizer. Okay. I can hella get people to do shit. And I like to ideate.

Okay. But

Tamara: I, but tenacity. Tenacity means finishing. So if you don't like finish, you probably don't have that one then. Okay. So you are ideation and galvanizing. That's awesome. That's a. Thank you.

Tami: And I found that book to be found. I was like, again, one of those books where I was like, no, everyone needs to read this.

Okay. So it's just the two of us, whatever. And, but everybody else, you should get on board so we can talk about this. It's so good. So, what is a book that recently you were like, like that we're like, shut up. Everyone has to read this.

Tamara: There's so many, but I al my favorite I think is the Badass Series by Jen Ro.

You're A Badass by [00:47:00] Jen Centro is just, I love it. She's so funny and it's so motivating and inspiring and I wanna be her when I grow up.

Tami: Yeah. I actually, when I read that, 'cause I, I even had a little bit of an eye roll, like, what am I gonna do this? And then I was like, I with her.

Tamara: I

Tami: like that book. I Good old

Tamara: Jen.

I actually read, I actually, well, I don't like to read books. I do the audio version, but I mm-hmm. Actually read quite a bit and I, I listened to that one. That one in the, you're a Badass with money and like all of hers. I, they're the ones that I've listened to like 10 times and I own the actual book.

Tami: Right. Okay. So one of mine that I do that with is Denise Afield Thomas Chill and Prosper. Okay. I have that on audio and I used to put it on when I was swimming and just swim laps listening to about how I need to chill and make a lot of money. I was like, I, this is where I'm here. I have not read that one.

I will put it on my list. Oh, I really like it. And she has a podcast [00:48:00] too. What is your favorite personal development book? A book that you picked up and then you were like, oh God, now I have to put this whole thing into practice.

Tamara: Oh, that's such a tough, I was like, is it gonna be Clifton's strengths?

Perhaps. I like to just. Read them and not implement. I'm really good at, yes, I'm really good at that. Probably nail your niche. There's a that Oh gosh. Brian Elwood, tell us more. Nail your niche. I like that. Yeah. It's really, so it's based on, oh gosh, what's the other guy's name? So basically the whole the whole premise is that if, if you are trying to offer something to a client [00:49:00] that you, if you, if you set it up in the right way and you.

So this is, okay. So maybe if I give you an example, it'll make it make more sense mm-hmm. Than me fumbling around. So like when you go to a website and you go to purchase something and then you're like, oh, I could never actually make that work because of this, this, and this. And then there are bonuses answered, this, this, and this.

That's the whole, like, that's the way that this is set up. So it's like making an offer that people can't refuse because it's a no-brainer. It's really around focusing in on what your thing is, and then making sure that the way you're offering it makes, makes it too good to turn down,

Tami: add to cart. If you, if you only had one book in your whole collection, A Our houses has got like way cleaner and way easier to clean.

What is your most favorite book? Hands Down. [00:50:00] You would always recommend this book.

I will give you this. You can have a fiction and a nonfiction.

Tamara: I really don't read, not, I really don't read fiction. I really don, I feel like something to read. Then literally everything I read is all about business. That's what I enjoy reading. Hmm. I, so I haven't finished it, but I'm currently reading Kathy Heller's new book what's it called, man?

Abundant Ever After, and I'll have to

Tami: check it out.

Tamara: I, I actually am hosting a book club. For people who are going through reading that right now. I am more than halfway through the book, don't tell my book club 'cause we're not supposed to be. But I think if you haven't had exposure to you know, manifestation, attracting what you want and really creating that energy in order to bring it into your life, it, that's like game [00:51:00] changing.

So that, I love that would go with that one. And obviously Clifton Strengths.

Tami: Okay. And I wanna give you two things. One, if you haven't read, we Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rogers. So good.

Tamara: I did. Yes. That was good. And

Tami: then, and then also Denise Duffield Thomas of Chill and Prosper also has a book called Get Rich Lucky Bitch.

And it's super good. And it's about putting all the, it's about how making yourself lucky. Okay. It's, so, it's about manifestation as well.

Tamara: Awesome. Yeah, I,

Tami: I, and she's Australian, so it's funny and she's funny. Awesome. Which I'm always like, if you're gonna make me uncomfortable by doing like personal development shit, then you should be funny while you do it.

What is your favorite social media channel? Where do you like to hang out? TikTok

Tamara: and I use it. Tell us why. Because I use it for comic relief. So [00:52:00] throughout the day when I need a break, I go on TikTok and it knows my algorithm and I just, especially in the evening, my family makes fun of me 'cause I'll just sit there and laugh and I just, that I, I love comedy and I have more dry sense of humor and I just, I just need laughter in my life.

Tami: I would say laughter is a very underrated. Self-care, burnout, remedy.

Tamara: Yes.

Tami: And I had to get off TikTok because I was like, this machine cannot possibly know me better than I know me, but they know me so well. I could live on TikTok. And I was like, girl, you need to take

Tamara: a step back. There's

Tami: a lot going

Tamara: on in our world.

We need, we need the comedy, we need all the laughter.

Tami: Yes. But I will say I have sought it out in more private way than [00:53:00] TikTok mining my brain, if you haven't yet. Watched survival of the Thickest and Michelle Oz's most recent comedy special on Netflix. I was crying. I was laughing so hard my.

Teenager was offended that I was in the other room laughing. She was just like, whatcha laughing at? Why are you laughing? I was like, what's so funny? And I'm like, you need to calm down. I'm processing my stress by laughing at this grown lady stuff. So I'm in my room. I'm minding my own business, just laughing.

Tamara: Oh, I have to check that out. I have not, I have not seen that. I'm looking, looking forward to it.

Tami: Alright, so what's your favorite TV show? Past or present or both?

Tamara: Oh my goodness. These are hard questions. I know you send them to me, but I didn't pay attention. Favorite TV show? You know what I really, really liked?

What's it called? Gimme a second. The name is escaping [00:54:00] me. God, what's it called? Hang on, I'll look it up. I can't think the one. There was one as like three moms, two of them are sisters and they rob a grocery store. Do you know where I'm going with this

Tami: is Christina Hendricks in it.

Tamara: I don't know who that is.

I'm terrible with names. I'm sorry, what'd you say?

Tami: Christina Hendricks from Madman.

Tamara: Is she blonde? That's probably her. Oh, okay. Three moms. Rob. Rob. Let me ask my friend. Google. Yeah, exactly. Rob a bank, grocery store. Grocery. The younger sister works at this grocery store and this is, this is so good girls.

It's called Good Girls. Okay. That one cracks me up and it's probably not what anybody would say, but it's they get, so they, they rob a grocery [00:55:00] store and come to find out the money was actually like. I don't know what you call these people, like, not mobsters, but they were like bad guys that act, it was their money.

And so they get intertwined in this criminal organization. And I, I just like it. I don't even know why I like it, but it's a good show.

Tami: Okay. I, and yes, it is Christina Hendricks from Madman, if you ever watched it, she was Joan. And now you never watch that one. I'm like,

Tamara: I wouldn't necessarily say that it's my favorite, but that's what came up for me because it is, and

Tami: also you, you're like, it made me laugh. Also like, can we just, again, we're gonna get back to the laughter thing.

Tamara: Okay. This is the whole, I like all the criminal mind stuff though. Like all the, I, I'm usually watching like something not CSI, I am usually watching something like FBI CS C, or I don't even know what I wanna say.

FBI related. Like, I, I like all that like real

Tami: ones. Real ones are like the criminal [00:56:00] procedurals I think is what they call them.

Tamara: Just the sitcom versions. Like not Okay, not real life. There's, there's enough real life. I don't need any of that. Right. I was like, I go to TV to escape real life. Yeah.

Tami: Right.

Same. Okay, so this is a question that I stole from James Lipton. Okay. Rest in peace. James from the inside the actor studio. 'cause I always was curious when he asked celebrities this question and that is, what is your favorite swear word? The F word. The F word. You know what? And we always, yeah, we mark these explicit always, just because I'm like, we're grown people having passionate discussions.

We cannot be already censoring ourselves. So we just get that when there're Thank you for spending this afternoon with me. It's been a pleasure to talk to you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. This was so fun. I'm so glad that we got to reconnect. Hey everybody, make sure you go listen to the Ambitious Chicks [00:57:00] podcast because you will hear all of my interview as well as many other people's interviews about how you can get out of this stuck place at work and start thinking of a future.

Where you're using your strengths and your talents is talents. You're using your strengths and your talents and your gifts towards something that is fun and feels good and can make you money. So until next week, remember that you matter too.