Last week, I was in bed from Sunday to Friday afternoon with a fever, head + body aches, and zero energy. Taking a shower was the energetic highlight of my day, most days.

An old friend used to call witnessing her own thoughts as spending time in the spiritual timeout chair.

Hot takes from last week:

Am I really sick?

Am I really sick “enough” to take this amount of time off even though I have a million and a half tasks to do. This to-do list isn’t going to finish itself.

Am I contagious or is this all in my head?

Am I just overwhelmed and/or avoiding things I need to do or am I really sick?

Why is it so hard for ME to be a grown-up up aka run a household, work, nurture my kid, exercise, meditate, do elder care…. when clearly everyone else is doing it effortlessly?

Am I wasting all the momentum I had coming back from Mom2? Won’t the amazing people I met hate me because I didn’t follow up with them within 24 hours of meeting?

What have I done during my week of doing “nothing”?

What I’ve learned is that despite being 100% Guilt-Free Self-Care’s #1 fan and biggest cheerleader for the past 15 years is I am still working on disentangling myself from productivity culture.

When I am feeling well, aka not fighting a virus, I am able to see that my value as a human isn’t tied to my productivity and ability to get things done. But when I am sick, I revert back to my factory settings - what my spouse lovingly refers to as my “emo setting”.

Word to the wise: if everything sucks, you might just be rundown/sick/on the road to burnout.

How was your week?

This week on the podcast, I am sharing 10 Things Saving My Life Right Now. I love it when Kendra from The Lazy Genius does these every few months, so you might also love hearing mine.

What’s saving your life right now?

Transcript:

[00:00:00] I am going through a lot of stuff in my life and in my work, and so I am coming to you today with a reminder to collect the good things in your life so that you have something to fall back on when times are tough.

So, I. I'm a daily journaler and collector of the good points in my life. I I have gratitude practice. I write three to five things a day that I'm thankful for. I spend a couple minutes a day collecting what I call my greatest hits, the memories of the last 24 hours that I want to make sure that I remember.

Because on New Year's Eve, I'll then have more than 300 stories that capture the. Awesomeness in my life. I also have a practice where I send out [00:01:00] gratitude to the people around me. People who have shaped who I am, people who have helped me, people who have helped my family. Authors, podcasts, five stars for everyone.

And. So if you don't yet have a gather up the good stuff in your life practice, this is your invitation. If you are new here, thank you for being here. If you have been here for a long time, thank you for coming back. Some things to look forward to in the future. 100% guilt-free self-care is going to stay.

However, the flavor of it's gonna stay, however. I have been working behind the scenes with Calvina Dwin of your brand. Spark Business Owners book a call. Calvina will [00:02:00] solidify everything in your business. The process I've been going through with Calvina to work on my brand messaging and my visuals and my copy just we're doing soup to nuts refresh and a really a big refinement right now.

So keep your eyes and ears open for this podcast being rebranded to be the Care Club. From burnout to brilliance. Why? Because we all need it. It's, it's about more than self-care. It's about defining self-care more broadly, and it's about leaning into what we care about and how we care for the people that are around us so that we can care for the world around us.

So that's gonna be coming soon. And so again, [00:03:00] new people. Welcome. You've got six years of podcasts to go back and check out people who are up to date know that we've got some new features, new interviews, new direction coming in the, in the next couple weeks. And I'm still gonna be keeping it real here with real conversations about things that matter to me.

Those things are community accountability, resilience and equity. That's right. Those are the CARE of Care club and also with the the fundamental foundation of we all matter. Our needs matter, our wants matter, our desires matter, and when our needs are met, we can be of service to the greater community. So that's why I'm here.

And today I wanna share [00:04:00] 10 things that are saving my life right now, every quarter or so. One of my favorite podcasts the Lazy Genius with Kendra Daci comes out every Monday. Been listening to, I believe, since the beginning 'cause I'm also a podcast listener. Kendra does these periodic three or four times a year.

What's saving my life right now episodes, and I am always, always very intrigued with the behind the scenes of what's getting people through their lives. I love a behind the scenes. If you wanna dump out your purse and show me all the stuff in there, I. I will gladly take a look and probably go, oh, you really like that lip gloss?

And probably buy it. If you wanna show me what's in your cupboards or what office supplies you use, I'll be like, oh, is that the thing that we are buying now that is gonna save our life? And that is going to change everything. I'm here for it. So without further ado, here are 10 [00:05:00] of the. Top things that are saving my life in May of 2025.

Number one, are my weekly friend dates with my pal Jeanie. Jeanie and I have known each other since we were 12. We met in seventh grade. We went to different high schools. It was back in the days where there was no social media or anything, so you had to talk on the phone or see each other at events.

So we didn't see each other that much, but then we ended up in college together. And so at 1819 we became absolutely inseparable. And then we went to different colleges and we wrote letters. And that is a very long way to say that Genius is one of my. Nearest and dearest pals and has been for a very, very long time.

And in March of 2020, we decided to have a standing Zoom [00:06:00] date every Saturday morning at 11:00 AM Well, it's May, 2025, and I still have Jeanie Zoom dates on my calendar on Saturdays at 11:00 AM and we. Probably so that's like 250 plus opportunities for these calls to call to happen. Pretty sure that we have done 200 Saturdays in the last five years.

I'm just throwing that out there. Like there's a lot of Saturdays and we talk most Saturdays. And so why does this matter? Well. Why does it matter? It turns out that our relationships, the people that we choose to have in our lives are more protective in the long term for our longevity and our healthy aging than even quitting smoking.

It's bonkers, but it's [00:07:00] true. The science is there. Pals. Investing in your friendships, those people that you can truly be yourself, where you are known and you are loved, and you are seen worth more than bars of gold. So things do not grow without tending. So if you have somebody that you love that is always in your corner, that is your biggest cheerleader, and they don't have a weekly spot on your calendar for connection, Paul.

Not texting, not emailing, not sending memes. You do all that too, but I mean like face to face. If you're in the same city or face to face via conferencing, please do that. It will help protect your health. It will help your other relationships. It will help theirs. When we talk about everything like.[00:08:00]

Everything. And also nothing like subjects. We've covered cute boys from seventh grade all the way to Medicare and Medi-Cal, and how to pay for elder care for our aging parents. It's all their pals. So the point of it is, is if you don't have a call yet scheduled with somebody who you're like, wow, you're really my person.

Go to it. Number two thing that is saving my life right now. Same thing baby. Same thing is focusing on building our chosen families. I don't know if you've heard, but lots of people, myself included, have grown up in dysfunctional families. Dysfunctional families, meaning that you didn't get the nurturing that you needed.

You weren't seen, you didn't feel like you belonged. Lightly. Your parents did the best they could because they were just doing what they knew, which is what everybody else was doing. They did [00:09:00] what their parents did. But what we learned over the course of, you know, human history is that most people are not fluent in being a good human because they're not fluent in feelings, they're not fluent in emotions.

And so maybe just maybe I. You didn't get the parents that you needed when you were a kid and that has left a hole in your heart and you feel obligated rather than joyous to be with them. It's a real deal. Lots of people are going through it, and so if you haven't yet taken the time or energy or effort to.

Find the people who can become your chosen family, where you can kind of practice attachment and nurturing that you didn't get when you were young. It's really well worth the effort. And man, I, like I said, I'm in a, I. I'm in the generation they used to call the sandwich generation, and I'm gonna tell you something right [00:10:00] now.

I'm gonna have a series about this because I'm not subscribing to Sandwich Generation, and if you're not sure what that is, that is the sort of middle aged people who are both raising children that they chose to have IE, they picked them and also responsible for the care of. Elder relatives, whether it be your grandparents or your parents or your aunts or uncles or whatever.

We did not pick that. And this is the first generation where so many of our parents are living a very long time. Thank you. Medicine, but also, my goodness, it's a difficult situation, right? And for people who chose not to have kids, guess what? I hate to tell you pals hate, but those old people, they're gonna need your care.

They're gonna need something from you. And so even people who are like, ha ha, I skipped the sandwich generation 'cause I [00:11:00] didn't have kids. I am very happy to be child free. And yet why am I doing this really heavy lifting in this unexpected relationship with now my aging parents? It is bonkers. So. The whole point of all of this is if you had a loving, nurturing, wonderful childhood and relationship with your parents, my goodness, I would like to hug your folks.

But if you are like many of us who are like, yeah, that did not happen, and what do we do now? Welcome to the club. This is your invitation to go find other people who are like, woo, that was rough. What do we do now and how do we. It's all the cycle breakers. Like how do we find the other cycle breakers around us to be like, girl, I see you.

You're a good, you're a good daughter, and also you're not crazy. You're not crazy, right? We want [00:12:00] those people that can see us in our healing, in our more evolved state, so bye. My genie, my chosen family, all of you, you know who you are. I have spoken to you at length lately. Thank you. You are saving my life, which brings me to number three things that are saving my life right now, which are getting together in person.

With pals. Some are chosen family, some are long friends. Some are people who live in the neighborhood. Some are people who are friends of friends and doing stuff that is silly and fun. Number one, there's a club near my house. It used to be called The Press Club. I dunno what its new name is 'cause it will always be the press club.

In my mind, they have dancing on Sunday night from seven. Pm. I'm sorry, what? They have a DJ at seven. All the middle aged ladies who would like to [00:13:00] can go, have I been texting every middle aged lady who might want to go dancing in my region to go? Yes, I have. We have not quite yet made it. However, lots of interest.

Lots of interest. So what I'm hoping is that this becomes a regular thing because. The press club is nice. They're having an event. It has a starting time and ending time, and all we have to do is be like, I'll meet you there. Hello. It's great. It's like book club, but it's dancing. The point of it is this, is it inconvenient to actually leave your house and go do things?

Yes. Is it worth it? Yes. Is it inconvenient to drive for an hour and a half to stick your feet in the ocean for an hour? Yes. Should you do it? Yes. Am I talking to myself right now also? Yes. [00:14:00] Be inconvenienced to be in community with others. That's how we get through hard times. We rely on the people who are around us.

We rely on. Finding joy in hard times. And so that's what I'm doing. I am making sure that if you're, if you're gonna be somewhere in Northern California and we're pals, I'm gonna be inconvenience. And unless I have something I cannot change, I am going to go see you because we never know how much time we have left with people and especially people who you love that.

Maybe they've moved to a different city or they've moved to a different country. Make the make the effort because it's totally worth it. Number four thing that is saving my life right now, that is using proximity to my advantage. What do I mean by that? What I mean by that is [00:15:00] I sit on my front porch and I say hello to my neighbors.

I know crazy. I do live in what? Some people in our city refer to as Mayberry, like the Andy Griffith show. Lots of people, lots of kids, lots of front porches, lots of people with dogs. I'm out there, I'm saying hello. I am borrowing cups of sugar from people I am. If you haven't yet found Kelsey, what else on the internet?

She is a content creator who caught my attention because she has been talking about the concept of being a villager. Like if you want a village, you have to be a villager. It's so good, which means you have to leave your house, which means you have to ask people for things, which means you have to give things when people ask.

It means you have to show up and do things with people and offer help, and [00:16:00] maybe you're not getting a sort of quid pro quo situation with your neighbor. Like say, maybe I borrow a cup of sugar. From Amy, but then Amy gets a lemon from Melissa, and then Melissa says to Carrie and me and Amy, Hey, I will be the one that picks up the tickets for X, Y, Z.

The notion that we are. Community with each other, and it doesn't have to be a tit for tat, a quid pro quo, an equal exchange, but we're in that, we're all in it together and we all benefit sort of mindset, and we're all doing things to help each other. It really messes with the narrative that this country is divided and that we are at each other's throats, and that we are terrible people and that humans are awful.

We're not. We're not. And we never have been. I mean, there are certain, there's like [00:17:00] 30% of the population that really struggles when we're all doing well because they need some sort of strong daddy I to tell them what to do, authoritarianism, nonsense. But the rest of us we're pretty cool. We have to talk to each other to know that.

And interestingly enough, it's these closer ties with people that are directly around us. A lot of people recently have been saying, I have relationships with people who live in a different city or a different state, or I met them when I was at college and we all moved away. And yes, that's one kind of friendship of those old friends that know all the players.

And you don't have to explain your. Brother to them. You can just use his name and they'd have all the backstory. Yes. Deep friendships. In fact, if you go into Laura Tremain's Life Council, she talks about the 10 kinds of friendships, but one of them is like the daily drudgery. It's [00:18:00] the people that you see on the regular because y'all are in the same relative area, doing the same relative things like, so some people become friendly.

Or friendlier with parents in their kids' class or parents in the sporting thing because we're all in the same place. Doing the same thing, which is waiting for our kids to be done with a thing. Isn't life easier and better for everyone when you have somebody's phone number? It doesn't have to be everyone because maybe you don't like them all, but maybe you only like one, or maybe you find one to be tolerable, but you get their name and you get their number.

And when you are on your way to set event and you have a tire blowout. You can text that person who you've already made this investment in and say, Hey, can you just hang out for 20 [00:19:00] minutes while I get this fixed? Or can my kid go home with your family? And I'll be over there as soon as I can. So much better to go through life thinking, Ugh, I have a solution to my immediate problem.

And then allowing yourself to be the solution for somebody else. Feels really fucking good. So good. But it doesn't have to always be the same person, right? So, so I think some people, again, and Kelsey. Kelsey of Kelsey or else got some feedback on her, well, I don't want relationships to be transactional.

It's like, well, no shit. Nobody wants to feel like they're being used. However, I will add my voice to this. When Kelsey talked about relationships being reciprocal. I took it. And how I saw that was like, oh, I do something for Amy. Amy does something for Carrie. Melissa does something for all of us. We all benefit, and then it, we keep the system going, which is, nobody is always a [00:20:00] taker and nobody's always a giver.

And if you're always a taker or always a giver, just gonna tell you you're doing it wrong. You're doing it wrong. We're we're supposed to be both all the time. And it's a practice. It's a practice. It's a practice. It's a practice, but it's worth it because again, having people around. Challenges the narrative that we're alone.

It challenges the narrative that we're against each other. It challenges the narrative that we're competing with each other or competing for resources. We're not, there's enough for all of us, but we literally have to know our neighbors, the people around us, and be like, hello, I love your roses. Those are lovely.

As I talk about. In my good news and bad na, the good news and bad news about burnout keynote talk that I do. And by the way, if you are somebody who hires [00:21:00] speakers for your events. Call me. Just kidding. Email me because I am for hire as a keynote speaker, and I have this interactive, funny, fun irreverent view of burnout and how we can save ourselves from burnout and how we can come together collectively to go from burnout to brilliance.

And one of the things we do is. We complete the stress cycle, and one of those ways that we do that is being in community with others. And it can be very, very low risk and low effort. It really is saying hello to the people around you so that if the proverbial like lion is hunting in the Savannah the lion is much more likely to take out the outlier person rather than the person in a group.

And if the lion decides to take on the group, at least you have your next door neighbor doing work [00:22:00] on your behalf because you all know each other, right? We do things for people that we know and we like and we trust. And anyway, being in community with people is super important and it's never been more important than it is right now and man alive, it is saving my life so, so much.

Number five, I just told you I snuck it in, which is go find Kel, or oh God. Now I can't remember what it's, if you put in Kelsey and you put villages in Instagram, you can find this. She's everywhere. She's on TikTok, she's on Instagram, she's on the YouTubes, she's everywhere. And funny story, I.

I heard about her by watching her, like she came up in my for you page and I was at mom two in the beginning of April and I was walking down the hall and I heard a familiar voice right behind me, [00:23:00] and I thought to myself, I know that person. I didn't know what she was saying. I was like, oh, I know that person.

I turned around and her face was unfamiliar to me because apparently I had been watching her things while not looking at her face. I was just listening. I turned around and I thought, oh. 'cause my first thought is always like, did I go to high school here? The answer is no, because I could probably be Kelsey's mom because she is much younger than me, but I thought, I know her, and I thought, where do I know her from?

And I thought, oh, the internet. And it was true. I did in fact know her from the internet. But it was specifically from this notion of if you want a village. If you wanna be part of a village, you have to be vulnerable and be a villager. You gotta show up, you gotta give, you gotta get, you gotta do a lot of things.

The payoff is totally worth it. So if you [00:24:00] haven't yet found the brilliance that is Kelsey and her this villager conversation, go look for it. It is so worth your time, and, and I've been sending it to everyone that I know. Because I don't like to keep information that can be helpful for others. None of us needs to be lonely in this day and age when we have 9,000 ways to contact each other.

And most of us live in some sort of structure, not in a field alone, right? There's people around us. So again, we have to, somebody has to lead the charge of getting together. Community. Why not let it be us? Okay. Number six thing that is saving my life is therapy. I don't know how it, maybe it's an algorithm.

Maybe it is absolute luck. Maybe, I don't know. Maybe it's [00:25:00] because it's some sort of karmic payback for all the good deeds I've done in my life. But my god, my most, my therapist right now that was assigned to me what feels like completely randomly last summer is the highlight of my week. I didn't realize, I've always gone to therapy for like capital be big things, and this time I, I I mean it's big things, but it didn't.

It didn't feel as big, but boy, this flavor of therapy that I'm doing right now, which is me just being like, all of these things are terrible,

and having somebody witness that and have somebody listen and somebody say, these are my favorite words. Are you ready? You're not crazy. It's not just you. I'm like, what? I thought it was just me. I feel so alone and now I don't feel alone. Boy, those therapy [00:26:00] appointments. Chef's kiss, chef's kiss. And something I learned a few years ago in the state of California, and again, I don't know what's happening in the other states, but in the state of California, if you have health insurance that has a mental health provision in it, they have to get you a therapist within 10 days.

What I know so. It might, therapy might be available to you. And you didn't even know. I didn't know that because that was, that law was passed and signed into law in, I think 2022 or 2023 and y'all, that's not that long ago. So Governor Newsom did some good stuff there by saying, Hey. Insurance companies, you have to actually provide therapists for people.

You can't just be like, Hey, pay for therapy, but you don't get any, 'cause we don't have any therapists like they have to make it happen. [00:27:00] So you never know how the laws in your community are going to help your mental health or let's be real wreck your mental health there because that happens too. I just have to say once again.

Public policy makes a difference at the personal level because two years before that law came into effect it, I'll just say it was gonna be a lot of legwork on my part to get a therapist that then I would have to pay for and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And by the way, I was real depressed then 'cause my friend had just died, la la, la, la.

So this was the perfect example of how. Good public policy can change the trajectory of your life by them getting you a therapist within a reasonable amount of time. Again, I don't know [00:28:00] where you live and I dunno what the laws are where you live. If California can have nice things, you too can have nice things.

That's why I always look at other countries when I think what it be great to have. Maternal maternal or paternal or both? Just family leave. When you have a baby maternity leave. A maternity leave a parental leave. And guess what? Lots of countries have that. The United States is not one of them, but if other people can have it, so can we.

Only if we get together and tell our government, look, this is non-negotiable. We need this. Anyway, therapy is saving my life and I love it. Number seven thing, saving my life, improv. I took an improv class, a beginner's improv class with my pal Beda. I interviewed her for my podcast many years ago. [00:29:00] I will try to remember to link that up in the show notes.

Bedside is hilarious and I didn't really know anybody else. I had briefly been introduced. I had a very, very, very casual acquaintanceship with one of the other people in the class. And to say I just feel like, okay. Improv class, if you dunno, what it is, is it's playing games with words in your body with other grownups, and there's a leader and they give you certain prompts and you do certain things.

And sometimes it's like word games and sometimes it's movement games, and sometimes it's, it's whatever it is. And I have not laughed that hard. In so long and I feel like maybe never with strangers. It was so fun [00:30:00] that. Oh my God, what else is out there that's really fun that I dunno about, that I've never experienced before.

But I do know that a bunch of us at the end of our time together said, Hey, we would love to do more of this, so let us know when there's another class. So if you're somebody that's in Sacramento and you are like, oh, I would like to have something to do that's fun and lighthearted and makes me laugh, and I.

Meet new people who I then have no idea what they do in the outside world. But my God, they made me laugh really hard when they acted like a lizard on a rock. You just hit me up or go find Besa LeBron on Instagram and follow her because she will tell you about when her improv classes are coming.

And again, if you don't live in Sacramento, go find something. That interests you and just take a class, right? Just sign up and this can be your unicorn space. This can be like, Hey, pals and my family that I live with, I'm [00:31:00] gonna be gone from five 30 to seven 30 for 10 weeks, well on Thursdays, and enjoy dinner.

I'll see you when I get back and. Everybody will have so much fun. That was my experience in improv class and I can't wait to take more. And also I would ask, what kind of classes have you taken that you thought, God, this was such a great use of time? Because I realized, I'm like, wow, I, it never occurred to me to take improv.

I ended up, I took it because some of the funniest people I know in town. Had met doing stuff at the Sacramento Comedy Spot and they said they did improv. And I was like, what? It never crossed my mind. And then so this came up and I knew bad sda. Anyway, that was a very, I mean, probably the most interesting thing that you've heard all week, that whole conversation I just had with myself.

But the point is, is what do you do for fun? What classes are you taking? And if you're feeling really shy, but you [00:32:00] also wanna spend time with a friend, why not sign up? To do a class with a friend because how fun would that be? Because then you would have to see them every week. I shouldn't say have to see them.

You would get to see them every week for like a month or two, and it could be so good for your relationship with them. You could build a new community, which is the people who are doing the thing, and it'd just be all good. And that could be saving improv, could be saving your life soon. Okay. Number eight, things that are saving my life right now are the Lib, the Libby app, the Hoopla app, and the Sacramento Public Library in general.

Let me tell you why y'all, I have. It is May 7th, and I've already read 81 books. Do you know how much money that is? That's a lot of money. Do you know how much money I've spent on those? None because Sacramento [00:33:00] Public Library has already done that, and I am almost exclusively reading through the Libby app and the Hoopla app, which they're free.

And again, in the state of California, y'all, I'm, this is my, apparently the state of California is also. Saving my life. But you can get library cards from different counties than you live in, meaning that you then have more access to more books through Libby and Hoopla. What I know. So you should definitely, definitely check out your public.

Because they have things like yoga class and chess club, and book clubs and art and knitting and film. And did you know that you can check out things from the library, like a weed wacker or a dragon [00:34:00] pan for your fancy cakes, or the library is not just books. I'm gonna do a commercial for the library right now.

The library is not just books. The library is a free third space. Do you know what a third space is? Here? Let me tell you. Home is one space, work is another space. Oh my god. Some of us only have the one space and a third space is like a community gathering place. We don't have a lot of those, especially ones where there isn't an expectation to buy things.

So that in and of itself is a good enough reason to support the library where you live. And this is one of those things, much like your body, it's a use it or lose it situation. The more people that use the library daily, the more the library gets funded because. The drive. I think this is economics, right?

The [00:35:00] more people want the service, the more it justifies the budget that gets spent on things at the library. I. So all that being said, there are so many opportunities at the library. Go check it out. And don't forget to look at your city library. Your county library. There might be a statewide library system you could check out.

You might be able to look into university library privileges. The point is, is libraries. Are under attack because this administration does not want us to be smart. So let's fuck with them and be smart for free and read lots of books. And also you can read anything you want. I've got some, I've really clever things that I've been reading, things that I've been learning, and then just reading smut because it's fun.

Kate, use your library. Cancel your membership at [00:36:00] Audible, cancel your prime, cancel buying books unless you're doing it at an indie bookshop, in which case, that's a great way to support authors. And again, third spaces bookshops are amazing. Third spaces. So saving my life. Libby Hoopla and the Sacramento Public Library.

Love them. Okay. I do wanna say a special shout out to five books because if you don't know what to read, I'll tell you some of the things that have been really, really saving my life. Okay? So number one is Drama Free. A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships by Nedra Glover Tawwab, my goodness, Nedra is the s.

Psychologist author who wrote Set Boundaries, find Peace. You guys, she, I always get her [00:37:00] books. She reads her own audio books and she has a beautiful voice and she sounds like a, she sounds like your auntie, big sister friend who is just telling you how things are and I just really like what she has to say.

In all of her boats. I'm like, oh, that is a boundary. And when you say it like that, it sounds completely freaking reasonable. Thank you, Nedra. My goodness. So if you haven't yet picked up drama free, go ahead and do that. It's a great book. Again, you can listen to audio books on Libby Hoopla. Do it.

Support your library. Okay. Another book that I love that was it was nice to hear about some, the author is somebody that knows lots of people that I know, but I don't know her personally. Her name is Karen Waldron, and she wrote a [00:38:00] book light Change light Changers Math, light Makers Manifesto.

I was like, oh my God, I forgot the name of it, but she has another book and it's called Radiant Rebellion Reclaim Aging. Practice joy and raise a little hell. So good. So good. You know why? Because she talks about self care. She talks about taking care of your body. She talks about going gray. She talks about skincare.

She talks about joyful movement. She talks about friendship. She talks about finding joy and finding fun. And guess what? That's the recipe for a good life. Karen's, Karen knows what's up. And just reading that book and implementing things from each chapter, I feel like could really, really impact your life in a very positive way.

And I was happy to report Thank you very much, that I was like, oh, look at me. I have done lots of those things and so I'm [00:39:00] feeling pretty good. Not gonna lie. Okay. A book that was so long. It was like 16 plus hours as audio and totally worth every single minute was Share the memoir, part one. How is Share?

Gonna have a memoir that is 16 hours long and it's part one Girlfriend goes into detail and I didn't even know that I cared this much about Cher and her life. I. I know, right? So many people are like, oh my gosh, here. I was like, yeah, cool. I mean, I grew up watching Sonny and Cher. I am of that age. But what's so interesting is hearing all of the behind the scenes stuff that was happening politically within the people who were making.

Music, the popular musicians of the day, the [00:40:00] actors, the movie, all of it. Cher was part of, because she grew up in Los Angeles and her mom was part of the entertainment world. I was riveted for 16 hours and I cannot wait until part two comes out. So if you would like to get some behind the scenes of the la entertainment scene.

From like the fifties to the seventies, check it out. Another book that I absolutely loved, and this is a special one for me because it's by it's meditation for fidgety skeptics. It's a 10% happier how to book. This is a Dan Harris book. If you don't know, about 10% happier. Dan Harris is a journalist, an on-air journalist.

He had a severe panic attack on air. Turns out Dan Harris was using drugs [00:41:00] recreationally and it kind of caught up with him on air and he kind of lost his shit. So he went on this quest to get happier. And then he wrote a book called 10% Happier. And. It turns out I, I kind of like him. I mean, I don't know if I wanna hang out with him like in real life.

Not that he has extended an invitation, but if he did, I'd be like, Ugh. But here's the thing about the Fidgety skeptics book that I really, really like is my favorite Calm app meditation teacher is named Jeff Warren. And Jeff Warren is the co-author of the Fidgety Skeptics book, if you are not yet on the call map.

Highly recommend. This is not sponsored. This is just a deep love. I really, really like Jeff's meditations. He's lighthearted, he's irreverent, he's funny. I. He makes it not so serious. He makes it to where you're like, I guess I'll [00:42:00] see you tomorrow. It's lovely. And he has that same tone in this book. So if you've been somebody that's like, oh, I've heard meditation can help me panic less and perhaps doom scroll less and thus help my mental health, guess what?

Pals, I've got a book for you. Excuse me. And it is Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics by Dan Harris and Jeff Warren. And finally. This one, this book, this book.

Like I was like, whoa, there tiger. You have some things that you need to do. Okay, so check this out. This book that I loved was so easy to read. It's called it Two Hour Cocktail Party, how to Build Big Relationships With Small Gatherings by Nick Gray. The premise of the book is I. Whoever's reading the book, within three weeks of reading the book, you will have [00:43:00] had a cocktail, a two hour cocktail party at your house, and by the end of the first one, you will have scheduled the second one.

Like it's an ongoing thing.

I don't, I mean, I know I'm having a moment right now too, but I have to tell you. He's good because I, I am the biggest introvert going, I live in a tiny house that needs a lot of, we've got a lot of things that are just need to be taken care of and, and I almost scheduled a party. He was very convincing.

So I would be curious to know if you've ever read that book or if you do read the book, if you're like, yeah, I'm gonna do this party situation point being. Look out for your invitation to a two hour cocktail party at some point, because I think I'm gonna do it because it made perfect sense and, and every single detail that needs to happen to make this two hour party [00:44:00] a success from what to buy, how to send the invitation, how to get people there to what to serve, to ev.

He has everything. In the book, and if he doesn't have like time or whatever in the book, he made a video about it. So I'm just saying like, he's really gone. Nick Gray is the author. He's gone the extra mile to make this thing that seems completely ridiculous, way less ridiculous. And for that, I say thank you Nick Gray, because I don't host a lot of things.

I used to, before I had kid and before we had a pandemic and before we had a thing, but that might have to be something I bring back. So anyway, those are five books that are saving my life. And the finally number 10 thing that is saving my life right now is [00:45:00] saying yes to people when they offer to help.

Recently a friend said, can I pick your kid up one day? A week from school and I said, yes. Another friend said, I'd love to be a trusted adult in your child's life. Can I pick her up on a Friday night and spend a few hours with her? Yes. A friend is like, I have a bunch of, I. Be done around my, I live in, would your kid like to come over, hang out with me and my dog and do that?

I'll feed 'em, luncheon and kick her a little cash. Yes, I am just like, if you wanna help me at this point, I'm gonna say yes, because I think you mean it, because I know it also feels good to help and being on the receiving end of things. Makes you vulnerable and it's good practice. So we're not judging people who need [00:46:00] help.

We gotta practice being the ones who say yes to help. So those are the things that are saving my life in May of 2025. I'm so excited about the transition from 100% guilt-free self-care to the care club. From burnout to brilliance because it's it. It's pretty, go check out Calvina at your brand Spark.

Follow me on Instagram. I'm over there. Sometimes you can follow me on threads. It's all my name. It's all my name, you guys. It's all my name. And then, oh, and if you're not yet signed up for the newsletter, go to my website and sign up because that's where we're gonna have. Big reveals you're gonna know about events that come up.

Maybe your imitation to the two hour cocktail party will come up. I don't know. I don't know. We'll find out. But until next week, remember that you matter too.